Loose Ends

Let us take a quick fly across the news and catch up on a few loose ends.

Anteater Jacket

22,000 Pounds Is a Lot of Anteaters

The Chinese poaching vessel that ran around on Tubbataha Reef near where the US minesweeper was recently extracted carried 11 tons of dead anteaters. Those Chinese, boy, they are weird in the cuisine and clothing departments. The maximum jail time for poaching is 12 years, and time for having endangered species is another six. So I'd give the captain the full 18 years and the next guy in charge eight and all the crew five years each at labor, assigned to assist Palawan in their re-foresting effort.

I'd guess these are not spiritual guys. They don't climb to the tops of mountains and reflect on the power and beauty of God's glorious green earth. 

Bias R Us

"Hey Joe, what's with letting the American minesweeper crew off without jail time, but demanding the Chinese get jailed? Your bias is showing!"

That is not bias, that is a crisp understanding of the TRUTH that commie leftists and ultra-nationalists deny, the United States is a part of the Philippine family and we ought not jail our own errant relatives. Especially if we want America to sweep the Chinese mines off the beaches of Palawan a year or two from now. The distinction is akin to that between a drunken uncle who staggers through the living room and breaks Mama's favorite vase, and a snarling neighbor caught red-handed on the terrace trying to steal Mama's prized Australian cockatoo.

Boston Massacre

When things like this happen, I recognize what a pitiful place our planet is in the people department. To hate so much that the murder of innocents is rationalized as righteous. I ache for the good people who were cast into tragedy by the bomber(s). They were out to celebrate and lost loved ones instead.

Separating Issue from Individual: The President

I've often urged Filipinos, particularly bloggers, to stop criticizing their President as if he were out to "get" the Philippines each time he makes a move they disagree with. Joe Klein of Time Magazine expressed this thought well as follow-up to the Boston Marathon bombing. He was speaking to American media:

• 6. And I would urge those in the media who speak of the United States government as if it were a foreign entity to chill out. You may be further poisoning the demented. Criticism of the government is, of course, as American as oxycont . . . but it is our government and this is our President. You may disagree with one program or another–you may think (wrongly) that Obamacare is socialistic, you may think that the Patriot Act is part of a ruinous, possibly conspiratorial invasion of privacy–but this President has proved time and again that he is a strong American patriot. Any inferences otherwise may reap the whirlwind.

Chinese Fingers

I love a good headline. This one was from Reuters a few days ago.

• "China points finger at U.S. over Asia-Pacific tension"

The article describes China's pout, or rant, about the US pivot to Asia. It quotes a Chinese minister as saying:

•  "There are some countries which are strengthening their Asia Pacific military alliances, expanding their military presence in the region and frequently make the situation there tenser."

By howdy, isn't that the truth. I'm thinking that if China would stand down on its military build-up, maybe the US would go away and leave Asia to its broad enrichment, peacefully. And if they'd get their flippin' boats out of the Philippine EEZ, off Vietnamese islands, and away from Japanese islands, the tensions would fizzle faster than one of JoeAm's famous flat soufflés.

The Chinese are horrible at looking inward and accepting accountability for problems. They remind me a lot of the Catholic  Church.

Could be their cuisine needs changing . . .

Blogging Platforms

JoeAm will be moving his blog to the Word Press platform in early May when he returns from a family vacation to Hong Kong. This will facilitate a cleaner look to the blog and layered discussion threads. The blogs are much richer and deeper when commenters engage each other.  The system will require that those who wish to comment indicate their e-mail address. Addresses will be held in private. Perhaps this will also help thin out the spam that has been infesting the Blogger blog. The web site address will be released when it is opened up for public comment.

Elections

JoeAm has refrained from engaging in election discussions, not wanting to influence Filipinos who are unable to think for themselves. The Department of Immigration made clear that we foreigners are a National Security risk and will be deported if we fool around with elections. Joe does smirk in ironic pleasure as he drives past his Barangay Captain's house, which is the vote-buying center for our area. The candidates for governor of the mighty Biliran Province are playing the election game as it is always played. Without dastardly intellectual discussion.  They won't get deported, I'm quite confident.

Giant Snails and the Slime Infestation

The state of Florida in the US is doing battle with an infestation of giant African snails. The creatures will eat anything green plus your house, if it is made of stucco, because the stucco contains calcium that the snail craves for its shell.  The creatures produce 1,200 young a year, which tops even Filipinos. The snails can be horrid as the following excerpt from a Reuters article illustrates:

• In some Caribbean countries, such as Barbados, which are overrun with the creatures, the snails' shells blow out tires o the highway and turn into hurling projectiles from lawnmower blades, while their slime and excrement coat walls and pavements.

Sounds a little like Get Real Post to me.

The Florida government is looking for a good strong poisonto try to eradicate the slimey creatures.

Sympathy for the Boston Bomber?

Jose Mario de Vega

I read a Get Real Post article that expresses sympathy with the Boston bomber. Well, not with the bomber's act, exactly, but with the motive that is likely behind the bomber: bring down US imperialism.

Here's a link to the article. It's by Jose Mario de Vega.

The article begins with a stark condemnation of the bombing and expresses condolences for the young boy who was killed. Then it turns the gut-wrenching emotion inside out with an attack on America and ends with the closing call: "DOWN WITH US IMPERIALISM!!!"

Yes, in caps, three exclamation points.

In other words, this blog writer is sympathetic to the motives of the bomber. Make no mistake about that. It is not a call for understanding, or compassion. It is a clarion call of hate raised loud and clear on that bastion of blogging integrity Get Real Post.

The article content is mainly a list, a replication of "a century of U.S. Military Intervention complied by Dr. Zoltan Grossman".

A few excerpts from the author's own words in the article:

• I hope that those bastard imperialist and war mongers in Washington and Pentagon will not use the Boston event as a necessary pretext to bomb or attack North Korea and/or Iran!

• I hope that the American public would not be again duped and brainwashed by their stupid, racist and imperialist government!

• Those bastards who bomb Boston are terrorists, in the same vein, that the United States of America is the NUMBER ONE TERRORIST COUNTRY IN THE WHOLE WORLD by virtue of their long history of bloodbath, mayhem and mass murder committed against the people of the world!

• My heart breaks for those who died and injured in Boston, in the same vein that it pierces and shatters my soul every time an American bomb drops in any part of the world killing innocent civilians, especially women and children!

And then this remarkable quote:

• Consider the following conversation below: Guy 1: I’m really upset about the bombing. Guy 2: The one in Pakistan, Yemen, Afghanistan, or the one the media told you to be sad about?

So the author believes the gut-wrenching sympathy Americans feel about the Boston tragedy is sad because the media tells them to be sad. In other words, there is nothing about the incident on its own merits that calls for sadness. This reveals the author's own fake condolence in the article, condolence that is merely aimed at posturing himself as a sympathetic man.

He is not a sympathetic man. He is an angry manipulator.

The list of US interventions is a rather fascinating list. It is an example of when information presented out of context makes a new context, a new reality.

The implication is that the US is an aggressive war-mongering, imperialistic nation. The truth would have to be found in looking at each case and determining, was the US intervention good or bad from the perspective of the citizens of the subject nation, or was the intervention in some way aimed at defending American citizens?

I'm sure one could compile a reasonably profound balancing list of people who are thankful for the US engagement in their nation. So it is a rather interesting for what it is, a one-sided list sheared of context.

Note the sequencing of events around World War II:

• CHINA 1948-49 Troops/Marines evacuate Americans before Communist victory.
• PHILIPPINES 1948-54 Command operation CIA directs war against Huk Rebellion.

Missing entirely is World War II, and the US interventions in Europe and Asia.

What's with this? 

What's with this is that the list is concocted for advocacy, for impact, not for accuracy, or for comprehensive truth.

It is an argument, not a study. It is the kind of argument the Boston bomber likely BELIEVED.

So who is Dr. Zoltan Grossman who originally compiled the list?

• Dr. Zoltan Grossman is a professor of geography at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. His website is at http://academic.evergreen.edu/g/grossmaz and can be reached at  grossmaz@evergreen.edu.  He is a civilian Member of the Board of G.I. Voice, an antiwar veterans group that runs the Coffee Strong resource center for soldiers outside Fort Lewis.   His list of U.S. military interventions since 1890 is at http://academic.evergreen.edu/g/grossmaz/interventions.html.  (Source: Common Dreams)

The good doctor has made his mark writing and teaching about US racism and military interventions.  He is an advocate AGAINST war. But he at least appears to teach ideas, not anger.

What about the author of the blog article on Get Real Post? His name is Jose Mario de Vega. Here is what he says about himself:

• The writer has a Master’s degree in Philosophy, a law degree and a degree in AB Political Science. He was previously teaching Philosophy, Ethics and Anthropology at an institution of higher education in the Nilai University College at Nilai, Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia. He is currently a lecturer at the College of Arts, Department of Philosophy at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines. As of the moment, he is preparing to publish his first book entitled “Dissidente”. It is a collection of his articles, commentaries and op-ed published by various newspapers in Southeast Asia.

He tags himself on Get Real Post as "The Radical".

I'm asking myself as I near the end of this commentary, had he submitted the post to the Society of Honor for publication, would I run it? Ought Get Real Post be condemned for running it?

You know, I probably would run it.  With an editor's comment framing why it is run. The disgrace of Get Real Post is not in running the article. It is in not allowing open comment to balance a provocative viewpoint. It is found in GRP's banning of JoeAm and others who have opposed GRP advocacies in the past. So Get Real Post walks no high ground here.

The article represents an attitude that must be dealt with to find a peaceful way forward. It fairly represents what I consider to be a simplistic, angry, narrow-minded perspective held by radicals. In other words, it is a legitimate viewpoint no matter how disgusting I find the framing to be, leveraging the Boston bombing tragedy for political gain.

Here's what I think about the whole of the matter of war and peace:

Wars are not brought to us by earnest, honest, candid people interested in finding solutions to competing or conflicting self-interests. They are brought to us by conniving power-mongers holding narrow views, expecting others to fit into their narrow views, and leveraging emotions to achieve their goals. Sometimes these people occupy US government positions. Most of the time they are elsewhere.

You can recognize them easily.

They read a lot like Jose Mario de Vega.
______________

Addendum: Mr. de Vega's response to this blog can be found here: 

http://getrealphilippines.com/blog/2013/04/my-sympathy-to-all-victims-of-bombs-violence-agression-and-imperialism-and-the-us-global-domination/

I cannot respond to his blog directly because I am banned from Get Real Post. But, hey, I appreciate the time he put into it. He does have his passion.

My answer to his questions posed there would be twofold: (1) hate breeds war, and (2) information presented out of historical context breeds hate.

JoeAm

Blueprint for Philippine Defense?

Philippine and American Training Exercise

The following news report appeared in Ariraing News last week. It is short and well worth reading. Commentary follows.

_______________

S. Korea-U.S. Joint Forces Sign New Defense Plan

Arirang News, March 25, 2013

Since North Korea's torpedo attack on a South Korean warship and its shelling of a South Korean border island in 2010, the South Korea-U.S. joint military forces have been working on a plan to counter North Korean provocations more effectively.

After more than two years of talks, South Korea's Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman General Jung Seung-jo and the Commander of the U.S. Forces Korea General James Thurman signed a so-called "Joint Counter-Provocation Plan" on Friday which is a defense strategy led by South Korea, and supported by U.S. forces.

The plan went into effect immediately.

"With the completion of this plan, the South Korea-U.S. joint forces are now ready for strong and immediate counter actions against any North Korean provocation."

The new defense plan calls for military aid by the U.S. armed forces when required by the South Korean forces.

Previously, the U.S. forces were allowed to participate in an inter-Korean military conflict when a full-fledged war breaks out.

The plan also lays out specific joint counter military strategies against various types of North Korean provocations. 

Despite rising inter-Korean military tensions, South Korea's presidential office says it will offer humanitarian aid to North Korea and expand dialogue.. if Pyongyang doesn't carry out further provocations and shows efforts to stick to its international obligations.

A senior official in the presidential office told Seoul-based Yonhap News Agency on Sunday, that the Park Geun-hye administration's North Korea policy is different from that of the previous government's hard-line policy.

The remarks follow President Park Geun-hye's approval of a humanitarian aid shipment to North Korea by a private charity group on Friday.

Han Da-eun, Arirang News

_______________

This is a very unusual development. The U.S. will bow to the lead of South Korea.

American military leadership can do this confidently because multiple scenarios have been drawn up that define under what circumstances U.S. forces will engage, and how they will be deployed.

I would also suspect that South Korea has demonstrated a grasp of military strategy and execution that has gained the respect of top American military officials.

So we have a prototype plan here, do we not?

1. Sovereignty of South Korea preserved; power of America standing ready.

2. Specific agreements define what levels of U.S. force will be deployed in certain circumstances.

3. Mutual confidence exists.

It took several years to finalize this plan, specifically, I would imagine, point 2. 

Can the Philippines craft a similar plan with the U.S. to counter China? After all, China is also being provocative. Some observations:

Point 1 is a given. The Philippines cannot be subordinate to U.S. military leadership.

Point 2 is a matter of time and talk, and having the Korean plan in place might shorten the timeframe. It can be the starting framework.

Point 3 is the crucial matter. Do American generals respect Philippine military leadership, discipline and thinking? I have no idea. But I can say with some confidence an opinion exists among the American generals based on joint training.

Under terms of the Visiting Forces Agreement ("VFA"), the U.S. will not allow her troops to be held in Philippine jails pending trial. I think this reflects the American military's lack of confidence in Philippine legal and judicial processes.

Is the Philippine military in the same boat? Viewed with skepticism? Or do top Philippine generals, schooled in American military academies and a frequent partner in military training exercises, command the respect of America's generals?  During training exercises, do they display the kind of crisp, firm decision-making required of top military leaders? 

I have no idea, but I don't mind posing the blunt question in the back of some American minds: are Philippine generals top-notch capable, or are they generals because they were someone's classmate?

The U.S. military will not subordinate American troops to Philippine generals in whom they have little confidence.

Very clearly, President Aquino would need a candid readout from American generals about Philippine competency. The President ought not think he can "sell" Philippine capability to American generals politically. They won't buy what he is peddling. They will only buy competence.

If Philippine top generals are good, no problem. A Korean-style defense agreement ought to be drawn up.

If they are not good, they need to be changed or trained up more intensely than in the past. Philippine military leadership needs to be capable of commanding respect among very demanding, competent American generals.

I certainly have no idea of the character and capability of top Philippine generals. But I do know that Jun Abaya, former House Representative and head of the Department of Transportation and Communications ("DOTC"), ranked 2nd in his class academically at the U.S. Naval Academy. That gains huge respect points.

Maybe he'd make a superb general.

My point is that the top ranks have to be very, very good to impress American generals. You actually have to prove competence, not expect it because, well . . . we're the Philippines.

You can bet that the U.S. is not inclined to subordinate its troops to the weak of judgment, skill or will. They'd have to explain the loss of American lives to American parents, spouses and children. They also have to deal with an American public that knows very little about the Philippines. But once a "deal" is announced, the press spotlight will shine on the relationship, and the Philippine eviction of American military, and Philippine "first out" of Iraq, will be brought glaringly into that light by critics.

I find it interesting that America's pivot to Asia presents an opportunity for the Philippines to prove capability. American skepticism has always been, since 1898, can the Philippines get its self-governing act together? 

I'd opine that the proof is to be found in deeds, not politics.

The Philippines Should Turn Predator, Like China

Here is what we are coming to understand. 

Chinese Attitudes Toward Japan

China is engaged in a coordinated national effort aimed at acquiring additional resources as cheaply as possible. Stealing of other nation's lands is among the tactics included in the thrust. China's initiatives are as follows:

• Develop Chinese mining and resource production.

• Hoard the world's rare earth minerals critical in the manufacture of electronic goods. China can cut the world off from rare earth minerals at any time for any reason.

• Invest in mining around the world with major efforts in South America and Australia. Ecology is not a primary concern. Acquisition of cheap minerals in bulk is the driving force.

• Smuggle ores from lands such as the Philippines where corruption allows this. "If we can get it, it is honest, because we need it."

• Claim the entire West Philippine Sea, even if it is within other nations' exclusive economic zones. That is, even if it belongs rightfully to others.

• Step up vocal and military might to intimidate smaller nations. Use a divide and conquer strategy to keep other nations from gaining power. Military officials are permitted to use aggressive and threatening language.

• Embark on aggressive military-based cyber-spying and harassment to enter private and public computers around the world to gain information or create havoc. For example, U.S. newspapers have been attacked as have government computers.

Many of us are perplexed with China's incivility and obstinacy. It is rather frustrating to have China sitting on rocks so close to the Philippine coast. Most Filipinos I am sure wish China would simply get off the rocks and go away.

She won't.

Even if the Philippines wins its UN arbitration, there is no enforcement mechanism, and China can explain away everything with sharp, challenging words condeming anyone who is not on the China path

I don't see a Philippines that has its act wholly together to deal with that. Most people just watch Secretary Del Rosario push back. One man with a tough job. Some seem to help China, whether inadvertently or purposefully, I can't tell.

The U.S. defense agreement is crucial to Philippine well-being. But even knowledgeable people like Senators Legarda and Santiago are busy driving wedges between the US and Philippines over something as trivial as a boat stuck on a reef (not trivial in terms of the value of reefs; trivial in terms of the shake-out in world order that is occurring).

I've argued that the Philippines should stand up for its own interests and use the might of the U.S. as a defensive backstop in case China's greed goes beyond intimidation and "occupancy around the edges", as is now occurring. It need not bow to the U.S. because its interests are perfectly aligned with those of America. The two nations should be doing more to put this alliance together properly. As I've written:

• People like Senator Santiago should sit down and shut up about the VFA. If there is a need to renegotiate it, do so out of the hearing of the sensationalist press.

• People like Senator Legarda should think about the bigger and more important national strategy of building a strong defensive alliance rather than engage in public acts (possibly so that she, personally, can gain votes) that disparage that alliance, as she proposes to do with hearings about the Tubbataha incident.

• The awkward coordination that is occurring regarding Tubbataha between the U.S. and Philippines is a horrible representation of a strong alliance. The U.S. is secretive. The Philippines is trying to project that it is in charge of things, the top dog in the matter. No, no, people. Everything you do should be structured to prove that this is an effective TEAM. That both nations are on the same TEAM.

But those issues can be set aside for now.

I would like to suggest an initiative that can be driven entirely by the Philippines that will counter China's ridiculously offensive aggression.

• The Philippines should slip into the economic hole that is being created between China and Japan. Find every instance where Japan is manufacturing in China now and try to get that company to move to the Philippines.

Concurrently, get the Philippine industrial welcome in order. Designate where the firms can relocate to on an expedited basis (Subic, or near Clark where Yokohama already has a plant, in Cavite where Japanese companies are looking to set up shop, and elsewhere within the Philippines). Make sure those locations are set to accelerate and assist relocations, not throw up short-sighted roadblocks seeking near-term fees from companies coming in. Indeed, GIVE value rather than try to squeeze the Japanese companies. Offer tax incentives to ease the cost of relocating. MARKET the Philippines.

As for the 40% ownership requirement, establish a national trust to own the Philippine 60% of each company, funded in partly by the Japanese companies themselves and partly by the Philippine government with the trust run like an investment bank. That is, the trust would not be engaged in the running of the business proper, but would be engaged in monitoring the company's finances and operations so that investor money (Philippine taxpayer money) would be properly cared for.

If Philippine investment bankers and attorneys can't figure out how to structure such an animal, call in American investment banking expertise. They can paper over anything, even Constitutions.

Japanese manufacturing companies may not be the only targets for such a strategic initiative. South Korea may also prefer to establish manufacturing plants in a nation backstopped by American reasonableness, over Chinese self-serving craziness. Or American companies whose executives recognize that things in China are going south.

And service companies will also come over behind the manufacturing companies (banks, insurers, etc., Philippine laws permitting).

If China wants to destabilize relations with other nations, the Philippines should go after the available jewels the way China goes after Philippine resources.

Purposefully. Without hesitation or regret.

China need not be the only nation with a predatory strategy.

"Ask America!"

Edition 2013.01

Let's talk American!

Do you have a problem that needs solving? A mystery that has been nagging at you? A point of information about America that is simply not available on Wiki? Then "Ask America!" Get a read-out from the foremost expert on just about everything American, that esteemed authority on all things red white and blue, Mr. Joseph August America. Gather up those questions and fire away!

Dear Joe. Thank you for offering to explain to us Filipinos what Americans think about things. I've wanted to know for a long time how it came about that Americans use paper in the bathroom for "number 2" rather than water. Thanks, Ralph.

• Wow, Ralph. You have the distinction of being the first "Ask America!" guest and you have asked a doozy. I'm happy to explain. The central part of America is known as "the great American desert". Oddly, it is not desert, but is a vast expanse of plains stretching across the interior region between Canada and Mexico from Denver to Peoria.  When this region was explored and populated only a couple of hundred years ago, it was often a long hike or horseback ride to get from the farm to the nearest river. There were no water pipes of course. Wells were not very deep and not reliable. Crops relied upon rainwater. So water was precious. The bathrooms in those days were little wooden sheds called "outhouses", a tiny shack with furniture consisting of a bench with a hole over a dark, deep pit in the ground that gave odoriferous its finer meaning. Boy howdy, it was also cold in the outhouse on a snowy winter day and the settlers didn't care much for  applying ice to their sensitive nether parts. The farmers would hang corn husks, or the outer leaves of a cob of corn, on the interior wall of the outhouse for clean-up duty. As the nation modernized, the corn husks were replaced by old newspapers, then the rolled tissue that is popularly used in America to this day. The Philippines is blessed with lots of water, warm and friendly to  the anteriors.

Room with a view . . . . . and a phew!

Hi, Joe. Can you tell me what happened to Hudson automobiles? Thanks. Sammy

• My, you must be an old fart, Sammy. I remember those Hudsons. Man they were goliaths, rather like giant bugs or upside down bathtubs. I've never seen such an ugly car.  I don't know what happened to Hudson but it reminds me of my old Nash Rambler. That was a classic, too. It had this innovation called fold-down seats that went all the way flat and made a bed in the car. My old '57 rattled and ran about 25 downhill, down wind, but helped put me through college. I'd rent it to my college classmates for use after basketball games or dates. They didn't need the keys. They just liked the seats.

Dear Joe. Is it true that American companies are greedy? I hear a lot about "greedy American capitalists". I'm thinking about going for a business degree in college, but not if my friends are going to call me greedy. Irene

• No worries, Irene. A business degree is very valuable and you should hold no shame for choosing that profession. "Greedy" is the name failures attach to successful companies that make a lot of money. It derives from envy that other people are doing what they cannot themselves do, create wealth from nothing more than guts, innovation and effort. Americans are great competitors, as you know. Running a business is not much different than playing baseball. Scoring a lot of runs is not greed. It is winning. Good luck.

Dear Joe, I was shocked to read the other day about the murderous rampage of a former American naval officer, killing several policemen in California. What's with these mass murderers in America? Is it because of an overload of movie, television and video-game violence, or what?

• Yes, lunatics abound in America it sometimes seems. Another word for lunatic is "deviant". That is a statistical term derived from drawing the normal curve of any human tendencies. The reach from centerpoint normal (the "mean) is calculated in terms of "standard deviations".  If you get beyond one standard deviation from the mean, you are into extremes, and the extreme extremes are lunatic. Or deviant. I did a calculation, using "Wikistats". In America, there are precisely 1.06 deviants per one hundred thousand people.  In France, there are precisely 1.06 deviants per one hundred thousand people. In Russia, 1.06. In China, 1.06. In the Philippines, 1.06. In Iran, 14.98. Go figure.

Hey Hotshot JoeAm, you think you're hot stuff, don't you, coming to the Philippines and telling us how to live? I have a question for you. Why don't you go back to America? We wouldn't miss you. Juan

• Juan, I appreciate the candid question. You suck, too.

Dear JoeAm, what is the difference between a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican? I read in my history lesson that they are all from North America. I'd think everyone would be the same. Thank you, Julie.

• Hi, Julie. Think of America as a club sandwich between white and wheat bread. Canada, to the north of the U.S., is a former British colony, and is a member of the British Commonwealth, which is rather like the carcass of a dead empire. It has strong British origins except for the province of Quebec, which is French and talks funny. It has a lot of snow and is colder than a witch's bum. That's the white bread. Mexico, to the south, is a former part of the Spanish empire, like the Philippines, and it has its Catholic Churches and murderous, corrupt ways, like the Philippines. Not that there is any connection between Catholics and murderous, corrupt ways. Mexico has lots of sunshine, cacti and rattlesnakes and is hotter than a harlot in Hades.  That's the wheat bread, and it's toasted. America has three main components, ham, chicken and tuna. The ham derives mainly from Europe and lives in the Northeast and across the plains. The chicken is from Mexico and Africa and lives cheaply, mostly in the south or in big cities. The tuna is slathered across the western states along the coastal cities, and derives mainly from Asia. Filipinos are a part of the tuna. But they breed faster.

Hi, Joe. I can't tell half the time if you are serious or not. What advice can you give me as to how to get the most from your articles. Joe, too.

• Ah, Joe, too, thanks for that challenging question to end today's advice column. Statistically speaking, I am serious only 11.3% of the time, not half, so you can be reasonably assured of being correct if you figure I am doing little more than blowing smoke or peddling wayward wild ideas detached from fact or maybe even reason. Now, the critical question is, does reading keep your brain from falling asleep, or inspire it to think new thoughts which you CAN attach to facts that you run into? If you get one new idea every five articles, I figure my job is well done. But maybe it is best not to risk your life on what Joe says.

Angry Maude Rips Two Senator Ladies

Guest Article

By Maude Garrison

Insecurity is a beast. It eats at one's innards like acid, gnawing away at one's sense of self and the ability to see things objectively. Envy is its partner in crime.

Insecurity appears to reside in the Philippine Senate. Amongst the brightest and best schooled and most capable minds in the nation. It's spawn, envy, appears deeply held by certain members of that esteemed body, and I'm sorry to say they both wear skirts.

I noticed that Jojo last week endorsed Senator Legarda as a friend of President Aquino. I ran around hiding news articles from him to keep him from blowing his stack and switching to Nancy Binay. Then he found out anyway. Fortunately, he did not switch to Binay. He just shook his head in disgust.

So I have to deal double the grief on this blog, one helping for me and one for Jojo.

I'm dismayed . . . no, let me be truthful here, as ladies are occasionally inclined to be . . . I'm incensed to see Senator Legarda sucking up to voters at the expense of my homeland and at the expense of Philippine security. She is either doing crass politicking or she has she has joined Senator Santiago in the ranks of the apparently insecure and envy riddled legislators who are raising a "sovereignty" stink regarding an American ship stuck on a reef.

What a horrible threat to the sovereignty of the Philippines, eh? A boat accidentally ran into a reef!  Man the battle stations. Arm the cutter. Get those jets in the air as soon as they get here from Korea. Tell Japan quick quick to give us the 10 boats they promised.

After all, this horrid intrusion into our national ego is AMERICAN. It is military. It smacks of imperialistic hubris. The nerve, running into the reef by mistake. AN APOLOGY IS NOT ENOUGH. NO, WE WANT BLOOD. WE WANT . . . WE WANT . . . WE WANT . . well, I don't know, but money is not enough, apology is not enough.

Oh, yes. WE WANT A HEARING, A LYNCH MOB.  AN EMOTION STOKED SHOWCASE OF AMERICAN NEGLIGENCE AND ARROGANCE. THAT'S WHAT WE WANT. Our sovereignty is under attack! The nation is collapsing! The sky is falling!

Oh my God! The humiliation, THE HUMILIATION to the Philippines!

How can we ever recover?

No wonder men don't take we girls seriously. Men are overloaded on testosterone and we get hysteria.

Meanwhile let us duck our eyes from those Chinese camped intentionally on Philippine rocks right over there. 

We don't need no stinkin' hearing on that, or apology from them.

Well, for the Lady Legarda, it is election season, and so waving the "I'll stand up to America" placard is great for votes. Yeah, it smacks a little of prostitution, I admit, selling your friends down the river for a few votes. But these are politicians, I suppose we can't expect much better than that from them. I certainly don't expect better of my US congressmen who trek the treason line about every committee meeting.

But one is certainly inclined to ask, which is REALLY the bigger threat to sovereignty? A boat that accidentally runs into a reef or a senator who disparages and undermines an important defensive alliance protecting Philippine territory and autonomy?

Now Senator Santiago, perhaps we have come to expect this from her, a role model for my own occasionally indignant outbursts. But Senator Legarda? 

Senator Santiago is re-visiting the burr that has been under her saddle since the US spirited Private Smith from the Philippines before he could be lynched and Nicole embarrassed Filipinos by trekking off to American to find her sunshine there. "The humiliation! The humiliation!" Senator Santiago shrieked at the time, regarding the imbalanced imprisonment clause in the Visiting Forces Agreement (VFA). So her personal credibility is staked to having that document shredded. A Singaporean shipping company, working on a contract for the US Navy, dumps sewerage into Manila Bay and it becomes a reason to attack the VFA. Not toss the shipping company from the Philippines.

Rationality, to the insecure, takes on a whole new dimension. It is slathered in envy and self-pity. And when it gets beyond civil, it is called hysteria. 

What is it with this bristling anti-Americanism that arises every day in some way in the Philippines? Big ways, little ways. What is it about this emotional neediness that has the Philippines always trying to appear taller by bringing America down?

You say I am sensitive, perhaps? Overly defensive?

Yes. Yes, I am. One can only take so much of this ridiculous immature schtick. And it is relentless.

So what do you lady Senators want from America? You want Americans to die to protect the Philippines, right? That's your agenda if China invades Palawan?

Or do you discount those deaths because "its really for America's interest"?

What ungrateful . . . can I use the word "wenches"?

Sorry, ladies. But it is my nephew you are talking about sending out to die. A seven tour Iraq veteran, father of three beautiful children. That is my friends from high school whose names are etched in gold letters in a black marble wall in Washington D.C. that you hold so cheaply. That you disparage so easily for personal political gain.

You want to know how to get an American angry? Demean his or her soldiers. Not the generals or their political bosses. Demean away. But lay off the working stiffs out on a boat on the other side of the planet from home who got a wrong map or read a map wrong and plowed into a reef. The working stiffs whose job it is to die for you and your family.

Yes. Yes, I am defensive when you senators rip into American troops and call them a threat to Philippine sovereignty. What kind of load are you consigning to them, the need to both defend the Philippines and carry your insecure, envious baggage, too?

It's a little thing when a blog commenter fires off a "go home to America" taunt at Jojo. Hey, consider the source.  It is a big thing when a senator of the Philippines loses her grace and dignity and undermines a critical alliance, causing the Chinese to roll doubled up in laughter at how easy it is to manipulate these running dog alliances. That is a threat both to the Philippines and the sailors on the boat because it encourages the brash Chinese to be even more brash.

Oh, senator ladies, you say this animostity toward the US is historical, this resentment of things American? Right, right, like those racist Americans from 114 years ago.

Nothing has changed in the Philippines in 114 years, so you figure nothing has changed in the US, either? Check again to see who is President these days and tell me the US is the same racist nation it was in 1898.

Or you mention those WWII American heathens who  were so brutal in Manila on the way to preserving Tagalog as the national language of the Philippines instead of Japanese, and who prevented the ladies of the Philippines from becoming career comfort women.

Well, I have a book for you historical resenters. It is called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. He lets us in on a marvelous secret. The past is done. Over. Gone. It doesn't exist. People who live there are dysfunctional at best and crazy at worst. 

Senator Legarda wants to hold a hearing about the Reef accident. Here's a quote from her as reported in the Inquirer:

• “We’re soft. We appear soft. And we should not be soft because this is a test of how we value our sovereignty and how we value what is ours.  Because if they can just step this way and say ‘aray’ (ouch), then move on, then we will not be respected by other countries.” 

You are not soft Senator. It's worse than that. You are disloyal to an ally for political expediency. You undermine an important defensive alliance for votes.

Trust me, that laughing dog China is not respecting you either. They are laughing.

You get tough with a vital ally that accidentally rams a boat into a hidden reef at 2 am in the night.

You meanwhile avert your eyes from the nation that  - - - coldly, calculatingly . . . wants to steal your wealth, the oil in Philippine territory. In broad daylight. And screw any reefs in the neighborhood, or turtles, or fish. This particular nation has ships blocking an atoll and is tossing Philippine fisherman seeking shelter there back out into the rough seas. An atoll that is 124 nautical miles from Luzon, inside the 200 nautical mile Exclusive Economic Zone that is PHILIPPINE TERRITORY.

Where's your hearing on that?

Hide your eyes. Duck and cover. China is a big authoritative bully, not that patsy America who is a fat and lazy friend, easy for ragging on. What is the term for someone who avoids the bully but beats up on the vulnerable guy? I'd look it up but I lost my Thesaurus and besides I'm on a roll here.

Here are some words from Senator Santiago (same source) as she dissed the U.S. Ambassador's apology as fake and manipulative:

• “I am concerned that the American offer of compensation is made to appear, not as a dictate of legal obligation under international law, but as an indulgence in American magnanimity.”

• “International law is clear that whether or not there was negligence or fault on the part of the US warship, under the principle of state responsibility, the US government is responsible for the partial destruction of Tubbataha Reef, which some say will need 250 years to be fully restored,”

What part of "protecting your own interests" does the good Senator expect the U.S. to abrogate. And what part of "insult" to an AMBASSADOR does the undiplomatic lady not grasp. And where, Senator Santiago, is the outrage that Tubbataha is the ONLY AND LAST preserved reef in the vast ecological wonderland surrounding the Philippines? What have senators been doing all these years as this precious coral that takes 250 years to grow has been dynamited, hacked to pieces, smuggled, and ground up to pave driveways?

How about a hearing on THAT, dear hysterical ladies. Who was not doing their preservation job, senators?

How about a hearing on why words of "treason" were thrown around between Senators Enrile and Trillanes and FA Secretary Del Rosario about the China back door fiasco. What about Senators who divulge state secrets in a public hissy fit on the floor of the Senate. Does THAT not undermine Philippine sovereignty? Where is the Senate hearing on THAT, apparently negligent, lazy, insecure and envious lady senators?

No, no. Let's go after the Americans. Loudly. Front page stuff. 

Insecurity drives envy. Envy drives anger. Anger causes you to cut off your nose to spite your face. It's an American expression, although Sancho Panza probably used it, too. Another one is tossing the baby out with the bath water.

From the bamboo huts that my neighbors live in to the halls of the hallowed Senate, the modus operandi is the same. Piss on the people who can help you and ignore the thieves and miscreants in your midst.

It is soooooo  sooooooo  . . . where's the flicking thesaurus?

Forgetabout it. Use your own words.

I'm outta here.

Screw the kickapoo. I need skotch.

The Speech President Aquino Cannot Give

Good evening my friends. It's good to be Filipino, eh?

I want to talk to you about our country. About our history and future. And about who we are as a nation.

Lets start with the basics. We are an Asian country. Let's make that clear. We are not European, although we are a playground for Europeans and we hosted Spanish marauders for several centuries. We are not Middle Eastern, although Filipinos work in homes and offices across the Middle East. We are not Canadian although we speak English better than those Quebec rebels do. We are not Mexican although Mexicans box pretty damn well, too.

We are not American, for sure. And we are not America's little orphan brother.

We are the Republic of the Philippines. 

And we are an Asian country.

So today I want to speak to three audiences. First, I want to speak to our Asian neighbors, our friends and our rivals in the peaceful competition for markets and goods and travel in this exciting part of the world. Second, I want to speak to Americans and their friends, the Europeans - those we term "Western Nations".  And, finally, I want to speak to you, my fellow Filipino citizens. 

Long live the Republic! 

Although we are an Asian nation, our racial heritage is mixed. It's about as mixed as it can get. Native  Filipinos have been here since before some of our volcanoes broke from the earth. They are older than a hundred Enriles stacked end to end. And being at the heart of trade and commerce in Asia, we have had many visitors. Some stayed longer than we wanted, but that happens with some guests, eh?

And the visitors mixed with the native Filipinos. Chinese, Malaysian, Indonesian, Moro, Spanish, American, African and who knows what else. People are surprised to look at us and see brown, eh? That is the bias, really, the discrimination of the Western world, is it not, to think that the mixing of all the races of the world should somehow turn up white?

Well, that is also the error of many cosmetics companies, too, but I don't begrudge them making a little money on colors they deem stylish.

But we are brown. If you blend all the nationalities of the world, as we have done in the Philippines, we get what we are. Brown. So those of you who are not brown, kindly set aside this notion that your color is the color of the world. It is not. We, the Filipino, are the natural color of this world.

Let me be very candid here. Our history is rich with conquest. Unfortunately, we were on the underside of that conquest much of the time. We of the hills and lands were no match for the military powers of Spain and the US and Japan. But we fought and bled with the best of them, with guns and knives and bare fists.  Our families have known of the tragedies of war.

And we don't like such tragedies.

We prefer peace. So let it be known, let all our neighbors and friends know, we are a peaceful land.

But we aspire to something we have never had as a nation.

We aspire to walk alone. To stand independent as a nation equal to all. Better than none, worse than none. Equal to all.

And we are passionate about doing that. We have been occupied by foreign lands and we want to be rid of foreign occupancy.

If our good friend China fails to understand why we are adamant about our territory, about our seas, we would encourage them to understand that we are angry about our past, about the abuses brought to our shores by militaristic conquerors of the past. We are determined to stand free, to claim what is ours, and to rule it our way.

If our good friend America fails to understand why we throw off the suffocating presence of foreign warships, or rise up in anger when one sails into a precious reef, we would encourage America to understand that we yearn to stand alone. To be masters of our own destiny. To be rid of foreign influence either real, or imagined.

To business people around the world. If our corporate ownership rules seem defensive to you, limiting foreign ownership to 40 percent, we would encourage you to understand that we are not for sale to anybody. That we are wary of those who would take control of our valued businesses and take the profits and run. We are through with being used for other people's well-being, and discarded. Perhaps there will be a day when our economy is strong enough to warrant a higher foreign ownership percentage. But this is not that day. We believe the determined among you will find a way to work with Filipinos and with Filipino corporations to make money. And in that way, you will participate in the blossoming of a vibrant economy in Asia.

When we are more secure, we can take more risks.

To my fellow citizens, my brown and beautiful and peaceful people, I say this. Corruption and ignorance are as powerful as any foreign occupancy at stopping our growth and our progress. If we look at the history of the Philippines, we can see that our wealth has been controlled by the landed few. The dynasties, the landowners, the big business owners. I am from such a dynastic family myself. We have captured the road leading to power and influence, and become occupiers of our own nation.

This must stop. It is as oppressive as foreign armies and navies. We must open up government and business opportunities to more Filipinos. Those Filipinos from any family, with or without land, with or without name, who aspire to work hard and work smart to get ahead. Ambition is not a bad word. It is a good word, and it ought not be reserved only for those of name and land.

To the churches of this land, you are a part of our heritage and the values we possess. We thank you for standing firm as the conscience of our nation. But, frankly, we hope you will minister to the whole of our peoples and not limit yourselves to one political spectrum or another. Politics is a divisive business, and those churches that engage directly in political battles subject our people to unnecessary choices, to vote for the good of the Philippines, or to vote for their faith. The churches must accept that we are a nation of many people, many ideas, many faiths. The job of the State is to work for all, no matter the faith. So we ask church leaders to respect our State obligation to serve those of every faith, and even non-faiths.

We are a conservative nation, yet we too often live secret lives that are not conservative. We slip under too many radars, abuse too many laws, carry too many guns, exert too much violence as a way to solve problems. Violence does not solve problems. And disobeying rules is a cancer that leads to more and more rule-breaking until soon we forget what it means to live for the good of the community.

That is what laws are for. The good of the community.

And we ignore them too often.

So we, as Filipinos, need both greater freedom and opportunity, to compete for better jobs and more prosperity. And we need greater discipline, to do this honestly. Because discipline is best for the community of Filipinos.

So to the leaders of foreign nations, I say, respect our sovereignty. We are passionate about defending it. We will defend it to the death.

To those who would use and abuse the Philippines, we say, no more. We will govern our own affairs. We will do this in partnership with others when we share the same goals. But we will not bow to the whims and wills of nations that do not respect our right to self-determination.

And to our people, I say, rise! Stand up and stand for certain principles.

Stand for the freedoms we cherish, to speak openly and compete fairly for opportunities and prosperity. And stand up for discipline, for the strength it takes to obey the laws and give a little of ourselves to the community of Filipinos.

It's a great day to be Filipino. It is indeed. Thank you, and may God bless the Republic of the Philippines!