I was accused the
other day by a commenter on Riassa Robles' Top Blog of having ulterior motives for writing blog articles. The guy is pro Sultan, which may give you an idea of his reason for not taking kindly to JoeAm's defense of President Aquino in the Sabah matter. His accusation is that I really have no interest in the Philippines. He says I am only writing to prove my intellectual superiority to Filipinos. I've
left out all the flicking and fricking words that accompanied the message. Here's the link if you wish to see pure hostility at work. My answer was rather simple as I know when I'm responding to a mind that has no bend to it and emotions that do not permit reason.
But, indeed, as in
all things, there are hidden truths. And so, my loyal Society associates, whom
I might add were also insulted in that extraordinary comment, I must offer my confession. I aspire to
demonstrate that I am smarter than y'all, that I can (1) enumerate wisdom better than Edgar, and write international stuff better than "J", and
talk family better than Cha, and prowl the internet better than Andrew, and be
an artistic wild man better than Mariano, and laugh and remember things better
than . . . um . . . better than . . . oh, yes, I recall . . . better than
Johnny he he.
Indeed, my
aspirations to superiority know no limits. I often put myself into the shoes of President
Aquino to see where he is walking. Boy am I puffed up when I jam into those little wingtips. They are for sure tight about the toes, but, hey, Chinese women break their
feet for beauty, so we superiors do what we must do. But, frankly, it's a
little hard these days because there are so many other Filipinos already in
those shoes pretending they know better than Mr. President how to handle tricky
and deadly international incidents like Sabah. They have no information, and no solutions, but
boy howdy, passion requires no intelligence to be loud.
So today, I am going
to reach for new heights. I am going to step out of the President's shoes and
into the lace-up boots, black in color,
shiny of toe, of Abraham Joseph Rizal.
By the way, did you
know that Abraham Lincoln and Joe America are EXACTLY the same size at 6' 3
1/2", and weighing 190 American pounds. Unbeknownst to the museum curator
at the Henry Ford Theater Museum, down in the basement below where the President
was shot, JoeAm slipped into Abe's dinner jacket. Perfect fit. I mean perfect.
Or maybe that was Mary Ford Theater. All those American oligarchs. I get confused.
But I digress.
So allow me to
channel Abe today in my address:
(Deep,
rich Abe-like voice) Hello my fine Filipino friends. It is good to be with you
here at the Araneta Coliseum tonight.
Yo,
sound guy! Would you kindly adjust the gain a bit? The
feedback sounds like General Lee wheezing under duress of cannons to left and cannons to right.
Thanks!
Two score and seven years ago, I was brought forth
upon this earth destined to free Filipino men and women from the bondage of the
dynasties. And the oligarchs. The rich guys from China that make the Forbes billionaire list by stepping upon the backs of poor
and innocent Filipinos who drudge mightily for a few pesos a day.
I'm
here to show you the way, and to prove my mighty mental muscularity over you
ordinary Filipinos who could not figure this out if you sat 60 to a room for 50
years in one of the DepEd's sweat shops
for children. In the modern vernacular of the educational wizards at DepEd that
is called a "classroom", but you and I both know what it is.
It
is a place where children are shut down rather than opened up.
It
is a place where kids learn to be discouraged and ignored, rather than
inspired.
It's
a place where young people are charged money to take exams, as if it were a
privilege to be proved unsuccessful.
Here's
my grand solution!
The
Philippines needs a middle class.
Yes,
that is what is required.
Look,
there are 400 people with names and money at the top, 6,000 people with middle
class income, and 94,993,600 people slogging for peanuts.
Now,
contrary to what some might think, I am not a war monger nor am I a
revolutionist. I am a pragtologist. That is rather like a proctologist, but I
look into a different orifice.
I
look at a hole in the top of the economy through which pass brains on the
way to America and Australia and labor to Dubai and Egypt. Give us your inspired and ambitious masses exclaim
the rich states, and we will give them what you refuse to provide: opportunity.
And
that's precisely what I look around for daily.
I look for opportunity offered with common
sense pragmatism by the Philippine government and Philippine businesses. It's my passion.
And
I have discovered the shocking truth. In the Philippines, opportunity is a big
fat zero for 97.2% of the population.
Now
given this astounding fact, which is accurate within a 72.3% range for error, we superiors are inclined to ask, why does the nation refuse to provide opportunity?
Because
it is into authority and obedience and does not have the strength of confidence
to let Filipinos fly free to achieve.
Because
DepEd teaches obedience rather than innovation and the bosses instill
submission rather motivation. No one here knows how to make Filipino hearts
soar with hope. With REAL hope, not some Sotto plastered political spin that yaps about hope but is just the
same old proctologists delight.
Because
the schools stifle and the employers stifle and the dynasties plug their family
members into all the cool jobs that could be the DREAM, the hope, the
motivation of the working stiffs.
If
the Philippines only knew what CAREER meant. If the Philippines knew what
fairness of employment opportunity, and what freedom really meant.
There
are no careers in the Philippines. The dynastically gifted bounce from job to job, getting
sucked along by Grandpappy's fame and Pappy's calling in of a few favor chips.
Real CAREERS require effort and innovation and problem solving and
productivity. The Philippine family favoreds just schlep along plugging up the
channels of hope.
And
so, my finely feathered Filipino friends, ya'll remain screwed until such time
that the nation recognizes that AUTHORITY does not motivate, it constrains. And
memorization is not intelligence, it is upchucking by the numbers. And freedom
is the great release of human aspiration. It is not something that requires
libel suits hung on it or courts that give no access to the poor.
Insecurity
is a bitch, restraint a bastard.
Dump
them and let's rock.
[Cue
Bill and Ted on air guitars.]
