Let me try to
characterize the Philippine social value called "Fudging". If we flip
through the Humpty Dumpty New World Dictionary, skipping past a particularly
popular American obscenity because it is not relevant to his inquiry, we come
across the definition we need:
- Fudging: a propensity to work around the edges of the law for personal gain.
It derives from the
Latin word fudgare, which is the
infinitive expression of a verb meaning "to cheat benignly". Roman
gladiators used it when they laced their loin cloths with hot chili pepper, at
least preserving their family valuables from the maws of hungry lions.
"Hey Ben Hur,
pass the Tabasco sauce, eh?"
Well, the inquiring
mind of Joe America sees the Philippine Congress as being in a bit of a
predicament because fudging has been, until now, an accepted Filipino social
value. But that has changed.
Bam! Has it changed.
It changed because
we had the page turning, dial flipping drama of Chief Justice Corona biting the
proverbial impeachment dust at the hands of his Excellency, President Aquino,
who pursued the case like a pit bull on a fluffy toy poodle.
The heavy mace of
punitive embludgenment (note to self; add this fine descriptive word to the
HDNWD) was called an "SALN", a particularly simple document that asks
elected officials to add up what they own and what they owe and put it on
paper. But the math was a little much for the Chief Justice, no matter the 26
years of education you are likely to find in his curriculum vitae. So the
President and all his men, and a few women to boot, whacked the Chief Justice
upside the head and tossed him under the historical bridge like a log heading
downriver into the West Philippine Sea.
Well, in truth, it
was not the math that nailed the Chief Justice. It was fudging.

The Chief Justice
also intermingled money from businesses and relatives and his own accounts in
such a web of confusion that it would take 23 senators from now to eternity to
figure out exactly whose is what. That is another way to fudge.
Alas, whereas
fudging was perfectly fine in 2011, and everybody was doing it. It is processa non grata in 2012. That is, it is
illegal.
And double alas, we
have a bunch of representatives who impeached the fluffy puppy and a bunch of
senators who convicted him who are also sitting on SALN's prepared under the
2011 Filipino Code of Conduct, where "to fudge" carried a certain macho
bearing, as "man, we are screwing ordinary citizens and pulling the wool over their blind and
ignorant eyes; aren't we rich and grand!"
If the spotlight
turns on the hooks and crooks in the legislative math-making, we'll likely find
half the government out on its ass in the middle of the road. So the
legislators have called a "time out". They are huddling and muddling
and trying to figure out a way out of these troublesome woods. Once they
discover how screwed up the SALN's of their colleagues are, they must decide
what to do.
I have an idea.
Just declare
amnesty. Stamp each SALN "accepted as filed" and move on. But next
year's damn well better be precise to the decimal points and it had better
include dollars and Russian rubles and even that well-tattered scrap of paper
called the euro.
Recognize that
social values have changed.
People who lived by
the old values ought not be punished because the rules have suddenly changed.
"Well, then,
Chief Justice Corona should be pardoned," you might argue. "He should
be given his job back."
No, no. His warped
SALN was relevant to his competence, and the impeachment an expediency for a
greater good. His error strewn SALN proved his judicial injudiciousness. There
was no intent to prove theft; there was intent to prove bad ethical character. A
Chief Justice is paid to be a law-based and high-minded arbiter of disputes. He
is not supposed to use his expertise to manipulate laws for personal gain.
A legislator is not
an objective arbiter of the laws. He is a writer of laws, wherein the laws
reflect the preponderance of the political ideology in place at the time. In
other words, a legislator is PAID to be political. A Chief Justice is paid to
be NON-POLITICAL.
So the legislative
SALN's that may not add up don't prove anything with regard to a legislator's
ability to write laws. Besides, who needs the hassle of trying to sort out all
that paper muck when Filipinos are starving and many poor women are uneducated
about birth control?
The main point is to
move on. Certainly, the Philippines loves a good blood bath. The sensationalist
television stations would love to see hundreds of legislators with their
eyeballs gouged out, lying in the middle of Roxas Boulevard or wherever they'd
get dumped. And the tabloid press, masking as mainstream newspapers, would love
to rumble out edition after edition of 196 point headlines screaming which
legislators couldn't add things up right.
The
legislators that FUDGED!
But, the glory of
gore aside, it would be better to focus an intense spotlight on 2013 SALN's as
the clear benchmark of present wealth. And then 2014 and subsequent years to
examine change.
The point is made.
The point is clear.
Fudging is now a
swear word.
Move on. Get
transparent, get honest, and get some bills passed.