A Kick in the Shorts

This morning my attention span is like that of a kid after he has watched three hours of Sponge Bob Square Pants.

• U.S. President Richard Nixon resigned his presidency in disgrace for having lied, robbed and deceived to stop those who had the courage to investigate his shenanigans. In the Philippines, Chief Justice Corona and his large team of crack legal minds seems intent on pulling the same stunts. Any legalistic rug to sweep things under . . . as if right and wrong did not matter . . . to a judge . . . in the Philippines.

• The U.S. does not want bases in the Philippines, the Philippines does not want U.S. bases here, the Philippines wants the U.S. to stand strong in the face of China's penchant to play the bully, the U.S. wants to stand strong in the Face of China's advancing militarism, the Philippines wants cast-off military hardware from the states, the U.S. is dumping gear as it cut's costs. Ahhh, harmony at last. Let's kiss . . .

• It rains more in Biliran Province than it does in Zambales Province.

• The two cities whose names continue to stump my cranial spell checker are Tacloban and Olongapo. The latter has lots of yellow Jeepneys, the former yellow multi-cabs. Both have decent functioning hospitals and several gun stores.

• Hospitals in the Philippines kidnap patients if they have not paid their bills. That is, they don't let them check out, holding them hostage until some long-lost uncle with a few thousand pesos coughs up the money. Meanwhile, the bed meter is running . . . I tell ya, the thinking is different here . . .

• My neighbor shot a dog yesterday. I don't know what kind of cannon he used, but it took only one big loud shot and the chicken-loving dog was dead. Another (poorer) neighbor was seen dragging the carcass down the path toward his outdoor kitchen. My neighbor used to be a security guard for the governor who for some reason never was hassled when he was in office.

• Biliran Island is being discovered by outsiders. It has stunning tropical vistas and urban essentials like banks without the extortion-racket rebels or terrorists. Why do some people continue to believe these gangs are upstanding idealists instead of outright perverted murderers?

• Don't trust China. The Chinese have bigger egos than well-laden Filipinos, look down their noses at brown and white races, not to mention blacks, would rape the planet for ore and wood and fulfillment of other desires, and seek to arm themselves to the nuclear teeth.

• Where did Japan go?

• Now that our house is built, sitting like a huge gray rock in the green forest, we are starting to work on the garden. One of these days we'll paint the outside of the place so that it does not look like Rapunzel's dungeon. Inside, it's the Queen's elegant quarters. The Queen being my wife.

• We have not yet built out the masters bathroom. We use the other second floor bathroom. We are thinking of converting the master's space to a sitting room with log-burning fireplace. No one told me it snowed at 408 feet elevation in the Philippines. Gads, it is cold here. We have to use a real blanket instead of a thin sheet. My wife wears socks to bed (don't tell her I told you).

• America is a crazy place. Occupy thugs fight the police and throw smoke bombs into the White House lawn, in the name of good American values. Republicans believe democrats are not "real Americans". Top-line politicians include the caliber of Sarah "The Mouth" Palin, Newt "Ethically Challenged" Gingrich, and Ron "Ross Perot" Paul.

• The U.S. is fine with a Catholic president (JFK), but will not elect a Mormon. Especially if he is challenged on the "trust" and "flip flop" issues. I mean, if you think his religion is a bit of a flakey one, and he is flopping like a bangus on dry land, do you really want him leading the troops? That black socialist with experience under his belt and bin Laden's hide on his wall is a better bet.

• President Aquino is good for the Philippines. His decisions are rational. His motives are good.

• Where did Mar Roxas go?

• Where did the Constitutional re-write go? Oh, you say it is no longer a political imperative? President Arroyo was an aspiring dictator, thwarted by democratic freedoms of expression. "Praise the Philippines and raise the investment ratings, Bubba."

• If Chief Justice Corona remains in office, it will be really depressing. To think, this is an acceptable standard for the top jurist in the land. I shudder. Especially after the nation displayed the good sense to rid the place of an aspiring dictator.

• Philippine kids get a really bum deal, which is probably why they grow up to drive the Philippines in bum directions.

• I like the idea of dissolving Customs and starting from scratch. The rot is so deep, the patient is terminal. Man, pull the plug.

• A local restaurant gives in-house customers the fresh bread and gives the day-old stuff to take-out customers. What a way to win repeat customers, tricking them like that.

• Most retailers in the Philippines believe we customers should be thankful that they are willing to sell us their goods. It is the royal model, otherwise known as backward thinking . . .

• Did JoeAm really post a blog that said Filipinos have their brains installed in reverse? Did he really make this same accusation to his wife? Does he still have his gonads??

• "Can't we all just get along?" Rodney King during the racial wars in Los Angeles (1994?) that broke out after the police beat King mercilessly with their batons. The incident was captured on video. It began the "video-cam" era that now serves as mainline news for CNN and the BBC and other TV stations that can no longer afford to hire enough real reporters.

• News as a journalistic exercise is dead. Now it is called "Reporting for Ratings", and we get the same mind-dulling reports on gore and damage from all the stations. America has been dumbed down. Past tense, I am sorry to report.

• The Philippines has not yet smartened up so it can't be dumbed down. There are flickers of intelligence arising now and then, however, so I have great hope . . . It's rather like watching the trash fire starting to burn. There is a moment when it decides to erupt in flaming glory, or to fizzle out completely.

Dear Senators. Kindly keep the flame alive.