Whine Not!

The real Philippines?

Be patient. Let me have my little tantrum, then we can try to put some sense to it at the end.

We westerners tend to see the Philippines as a really whiny place, a place where face is more important than truth, and posture more important than performance.

My positive attitude lasted one day. But its not my fault. Y'all drove me to it.

Ordinarily, I am castigated for my generalizations, for looking about and drawing conclusions from what I see and read without conducting surveys or interviewing experts or compiling data.

So I will just describe two happenings, anecdotal evidence if you will, draw my generalization, explain it a bit, and then let you tell me how it is wrong. They are at opposite ends of the social spectrum, one the palace, the other the rice fields. 

My contention is that the Philippine National Anthem should be changed to the Whine. The march you have now is too confident, too military, too patriotic, too upright for the real mood of the land. 

In the Palace

Here is the headline that ran in the Inquirer on November 12. I think it warrants a Pulitzer Prize for whine.

Obama skips Philippines–again

This piece by  Amando Doronila is so deep with weep that it goes into the pile of "Classic Whines". These tear-jerkers ran in rapid succession at the beginning of the article:

1. The itinerary excluded the Philippines, a longtime strategic security ally of the United States in the Asia-Pacific region.

2. The exclusion ruffled sensitive nationalist feelings in Manila, as officials anxiously waited for signals from the second Obama administration on what is in store for the Philippines in the reordering of US foreign policy priorities following the election.

3. The question that immediately emerged was: Why Burma, Thailand and Cambodia? These countries in Southeast Asia are the least threatened by the aggressive pursuit by China 

4. Filipinos were quick to recall that during Obama’s first Southeast Asian tour early in his first term, his itinerary bypassed the Philippines.

5. As if to rub salt in the wound, White House officials revealed that Obama returned the calls of a long list of global leaders, including those of Israel and Egypt, who contacted him to congratulate him on his reelection.

6. The US president spoke to the leaders of Germany, France, Britain, Saudi Arabia, Australia, Canada, India, Turkey, Brazil, Colombia and Nato’s secretary general

7. Malacañang said it had not received calls from the Obama White House, but it emphasized that President Aquino did not call President Obama and instead sent a congratulatory message by mail through the Department of Foreign Affairs.

JoeAm's response to each point is as follows:

1. The trip is four days, including the ASEAN summit. The Philippines believes it is Number 1 in importance in Asia to a president who has just been re-elected, is facing a domestic economic cliff and simmering hot spots around the globe? Give me a break! No. Give Obama a break. Truly, I think Filipinos as a sub-species are grossly deficient in walking in another man's shoes and they have a sorely limited view of the world and other nation's interests, or U.S. engagements globally. "Me first!" is the Philippine global mantra.

2. It's the same president as before the election. WHAT reordering? Secretary Clinton has held Philippine hands, the U.S. has pivoted to Asia, the boats are right over there in Subic, and it seems like there is another training exercise every few months. What do you want, contested islands delivered to your doorstep by Unc Sam? Here's an idea, get your Philippine Senator Santiago to shut her yap about the VFA for a change. THAT would help the alliance get reordered in a positive way.

3. Are you stupid, or what? The countries are in close proximity, Burma has just broken the hold of years of tight-fisted thuggery in favor of openness, and Thailand is growing in economic power but has internal unrest. President Obama decided that these were reasonable places to visit, for American interests, for global democracy. THE PHILIPPINES does not determine American interests. Got it? President Obama is not all-consumed with Filipino issues. Maybe the PHILIPPINES should deal with them, eh? Good God, the Ego of this place. A two-year old's sense of center of the earth.

4. Well, maybe they should slow their recall and think about it. Like, grow up.

5. So the Philippines thinks it is more important in the alignment of U.S. global affairs than Israel, which has been in a tiff with Obama and is the hotspot of the globe re. Iran? And is more important than Egypt, which is the emerging center of Middle East democracy, or chaos, depending on which way it turns? Maybe the U.S. thinks the Philippines is DOING FINE, eh? Maybe they listen to the President's SONA. Maybe you could take it as a matter of PRIDE that you are being skipped because you are doing HUNKY DORY! You are the good friend, well off in terms of stability and direction, who does not need to be coddled. You are not pleased with that standing? You NEED something more?

6. So frickin' what?

7. Do you know how long it takes a President to call another head of state? Do you know how many security briefings and public appearances and cabinet meetings the President has on his agenda? Stop being like Arroyo, breathlessly chasing Obama around the world. Attend to your business.

I tell you, I am close to losing it.

Associative pride. Attaching one's self worth to another.

It signals insecurity with red flags blazing in the needy sinking sun.

An emotionally healthy person lets other people live their lives because others have their own rights and reasons. He, or she, takes care of that for which he, or she, is responsible. To expect validation from others is weak, weak, weak.

Like, man, stop the wallowing and pass an FOI Bill. Make YOUR nation great.

In the Provinces Where the Rice Grows

My wife and I built our home in a rural rice-growing area. We are not special people. Fairly ordinary, actually. Generally good hearted, good humored, fairly intelligent, quiet, respectful of our neighbors. Going about our business of building our home and raising our son.

But we have a huge flaw and it really upsets our neighbors.

We have money.

Now, I've never been rich before. But in the Philippines, I am rich. And my wife is married to rich.

When building our home, we paid the workers who reside in our community above market wages. My mistake: a flare of generosity and compassion for people who are poor. We were criticized by neighbors for wrecking pay scales and laughed at by the workers because they figured they "stuck it to us".

We donated the roofing material for our small church, about P12,000. We were criticized by two neighbors (one being the Captain's wife) for being foolish; we had shamed them because they cannot give that much. They tell their neighbors what foolish people we are. And the roofing guy tried to get us to buy 40% more material than was actually needed, as if I can't do the math on number of sheets of galvalum it takes to cover a given sized roof. He was going to rip off a piece of a donation, a gift. To  a Church!

The neighbors regularly ask us for money for this and that, generally small amounts, P1,000 to P3,000. They are generally asked as "loans".  Priority for giving money is: (1) you have worked for us or in some way helped us, so we can help you, (2) medical care gets high priority, and (3) kids get a high priority. We say "no" about half the time. When we say no, people are highly offended and tell their neighbors what mean people we are.

So we are wrong when we give our money away, and wrong when we don't. And our reputation in the community is trash. The stories and the backbiting are unending.

This works in a destructive cycle because we do less and less for the community every day. We have pretty much removed ourselves from it, actually. Our circle of friends has moved downtown to the parents and teachers at our son's private school. It is a different "class", one that welcomes us.

We sometimes think class structures are defined by the powerful, to suppress and use the powerless. But the masses also define the classes through their ignorance and special needs. Or neediness. When envy is the filter through which all facts are sifted, it makes for an unreal world that people take as real. And it pushes away those who could help.

It is a simple concept, no? To welcome those with the means to help. But the gap between enlightenment and the rice fields is HUGE. So don't expect Sotto to be tossed from office when he is up for election. It's not that easy to get wholesome ideas across to a population that is isolated by need from education and introspection.

In the Philippines, need turns on its head to become envy, and it drives good will into the ground.

And it does it with relentless whining, one neighbor to another.

Questions. And What I'm Thankful For

So do my two anecdotes ring true with you? Or am I missing something?

Do you see a similarity in attitude between the Palace and our neighbors?

Is whine a pronounced mood in the Philippines, a theme, a passion? What's in the middle, between the Palace and rice fields? Is it whine there, too?

If so, any idea how to break it? All I can figure is to keep writing here.

For sure I am thankful for the people who contribute to my blog site because I know there are Filipinos who are mentally healthy, mentally sharp, and who "get it". It keeps me sane against the backdrop of all the Sottos and Santiagos and jealous neighbors and whiney newspaper writers and, yes, a good but authoritarian President without a clear grasp of how liberty energizes.

The schools don't seem to be able to help much in developing psychological perspective and good health.

I rather suspect the core of good introspection and healthy thinking that is not based on emotional need is small. But it is growing. I want to believe that. The internet is the classroom, and we are both students and teachers in it.

Self-Centric Behavior and Filipino Face

This is not a new topic here. I'm just going to try cutting it a different way to get some clarity on it. I'm going to be rudely blunt because tippy toeing gets us nowhere.

TO: Juan dela Cruz, the Juan with a high school degree and a couple of years of college under the belt before going off to Uncle Manuelo's vulcanizing shop to fix tires:

Good day, Juan. Here's a little story.

This is the American way

A man sees that his American wife is going to go out for a ride on her motorcycle. He leaves his computer desk and goes downstairs to open the garage and haul her heavy bike out so she can start it easily. His wife, recognizing his kindness, says "Thank you, smoochie poo!"

He smiles back, "Happy to, my sweet!"

"Oh, loverboy, I forgot the key to the outside gate? Can you get it for me?"

"Happy to, love of my life."

This is the Filipino way

A man sees that his Filipina wife is going to go out for a ride on her motorcycle. He leaves his computer desk and goes downstairs to open the garage and haul her heavy bike out so she can start it easily. His wife, recognizing his groveling servitude and her greater power, scowls at him and says nothing.

"Get the keys to the outside gate," she commands, sensing his weakness at having come downstairs.

Pregnant pause as two cultures collide . . .

"Get a life" he mutters and stomps back up to his computer.

Discussion

Perhaps you think I jest, eh, Jose? That this difference in attitude is a petty little snit?

I assure you, the difference is real and profound. I state the trivial simply to show how pervasive this "win/loss power struggle" is in normal Filipino behavior.

Most Filipinos are self-centric. Period. Full stop. End of statement. They engage in win/lose power struggles in just about every interpersonal interaction from throwing off minor ridicule about people's looks and clothes to going volcanic in big arguments that end up with guns blazing and bodies bleeding. Indeed, last week a body was dumped on a country road about a half-mile from here. It is the second murder bringing police to our small and peaceful hillside sitio this past year.

The Philippines is a brutal and murderous land. It is not a coincidence that it is also a self-centric land.

American behavioral norms are generally "community centric". That's what the Golden Rule means. Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you. So there is a much more evolved sense of compassion, courtesy and "give" in American discourse and behavior. Sometimes it is fake. Most of the time it is sincere.

Way too many Filipinos are engaged in dysfunctional games and unbridled attempts to preserve face: denial of responsibility, excuse-making, blaming, ridicule of others to reduce their standing. The difference in behavior is tangible, palpable. One is giving. The other game-playing.

Now, Jose, it is completely fair for you to say "Joe, that is our culture here. Every place has a different culture. It is the outsider's obligation to adapt to us, not our obligation to change to suit your foreign needs."

Yes, yes, I agree. Indeed, that is the richness I find in living here, the challenge of adapting to behaviors that are not common and are often downright entertaining (watching 50 vehicles from tricycles to dump trucks trying to get through a crowded intersection at the same time, whilst the traffic guy chews the fat with his buddy over there in the shade).

But if I, as a foreigner, am supposed to accept things as they are, why do Filipinos complain so much about how ineffective government is at providing jobs, or health care, or how poor the people are and how often they seem to get killed by flash floods or sunken ferries.?

Why can Filipinos yap but I cannot?

I ask, being very blunt here, Jose. Is it because you don't lose face when YOU yap? Indeed, you GAIN it by criticizing others. But you lose face when I yap because I am pointing out flaws in the Filipino community, and you are a member of that community?

Well, if you lose face, there must be something meaningful to my yapping, something true about the words. Something to hide from. Why would you get worked up if there were no truth to the yap? You'd simply laugh at my alien stupidity.

Well, the fact is most Asian cultures are very much involved in saving face and building face. Look at China's face-saving posturing on their silly nine-dash map that claims an entire ocean as theirs. It defies any kind of logic and forces them into the role of international strutting bully. Or look at the Japanese, still committing honorable suicide if they lose too much face. Love those knives up the gut.

But this notion of "face" is itself false, if you think about it. It is a lie. It is a pretense. And if enough people are dealing in "face" instead of objective, transparent, explicit information, you get the surreal kind of dysfunctional, schizoid, psychopathic (Ampatuan) place called the Philippines. People are living their perceptions and their angers instead of the kind of explicit truth that opens problems up to solution.

The FACT is that life is a flawed undertaking, full of risk and human failing and chaos. Why engage in a fantasy that our decisions or the way we do things must be perfect, or we are somehow lesser beings? Why leap to the conclusion that if we make a mistake, we are flawed as people?

The first thing any good psycho-therapist does is to make sure the client is content with who he or she is. If you are content, you don't get into face issues. You deal forthrightly, giving other people the space they need to be themselves. You don't impose your neediness on them. You don't judge yourself based on what other people do or say.

"Face" is an emotional needy space. It is actually empowering OTHERS to rule your life.

Ahhh, I'll go beyond that. The notion of preserving face is horseshit. Succumbing to it covers up the benefit that honest information and candor would bring to a discussion. Trying to preserve face is wallowing in pity and pride and hiding out. You might as well be gay and stuck forever in the closet, only you are hiding from yourself. Face is running and hiding. It is useless.

So, Jose, while you and so many of your countrymates are working hard to take care of your faces, you are not caring about all the people who are getting sick, killed and hurt through neglect and sloppy practices. You are not caring that bright, capable young people do not having the chance for a career job, right here in the Philippines. You are not caring about women trapped in abusive marriages because their marriage contract has no escape clause. You are not caring about your country . . .

Maybe, Jose, my amigo, if y'all forgot about your face and focused on problem-solving and helping the grand community of Filipinos, called the Philippines, this place would be less dysfunctional, eh?

That's it. My time's up.

Gotta go help my sweet wife get her heavy motorcycle out of the garage.

Adios, amigo. Go with God.

ps, your face looks fine to me.

The Matter of Ms. Arroyo's Health

Former President Arroyo is reported to be in bad health and considerable pain. President Aquino is not inclined to provide her any special rights to get medical care, pointing to her prior use of medical cause to try to flee the Philippines. Holding Ms. Arroyo to account is one of the central planks of his anti-corruption agenda and he does not want to be seen as softening.

The two extreme arguments are as follows:

• Ms. Arroyo made life hell for a lot of people and deserves her pain. I don't care what happens to her.

• Mr. Aquino is heartless. Some people treat their dogs better than he treats a former president.

We hear calls for consideration from the esteemed Senate President Enrile and others. After all, she was a president of the Republic. She has not yet been convicted. This is the middle road.

I wrote a comment somewhere in the blogosphere that I would be inclined to let her go to Hong Kong, or wherever she wants, to secure medical services. If she took the opportunity to flee, it would: (1) prove the point that she is a scoundrel of the utmost lack of character, (2) save the Philippines a lot of grief and allow the nation to move on to more important matters, and (3) portray President Aquino as living up to Christian values of charity and compassion.

I would note that charity and compassion outside the family are not traits commonly found in the Philippines because many Filipinos read generosity as weakness. Generosity and compassion are good traits. I suspect that Filipinos who see them as weaknesses have esteem issues.

Having said all that, I certainly understand Mr. Aquino's animosity toward this lady. She has done everything within her power to undermine and "defeat" President Aquino, specifically making midnight appointments and stocking the courts with cronies who will, presumably, try to keep her out of jail. It would not be surprising if the Supreme Court's Hacienda Luista decision were an Arroyo decision.

So it is, what? Ironic? That she demonstrated absolutely zero diplomatic consideration or charity toward Mr. Aquino. Now she wants it from him?

What we are observing is what occurs daily in Filipino interpersonal involvements. Everything is done to "win" and save face. It's a one way ticket to ride, my way or the highway. There is no nuance, no sportsmanship, no consideration, and precious little responsibility in evidence for things that go bad. Blames and excuses and ridicule; the whine, the 115th dialect of the nation.

When do you figure we will hear Ms. Arroyo state that perhaps her stocking the Supreme Court with political allies may not have been in the best interest of THE PHILIPPINES.

Not in her life time.

The Corona supporters screamed that Mr. Aquino undermined the independence of the courts by pushing impeachment. What exactly do they figure Ms. Arroyo did with her cozy appointments?

The one-sided blindness around here is palpable. Any rationalization to save face.

So this is all a bunch of macho posturing to me, wasted energy lacking principle. Win. Lose. Both sides are engaged in old school, dysfunctional Filipino interpersonal dealings. These values are low class.

So, to me, both parties are a bit scumbag for failing to aspire toward a higher road, for failing to accept accountability for ANYTHING, for endless rationalizations, for failure to be flexible in the face of changing circumstance.

Win. That is the agenda. If you can't win then blame and ridicule and accuse.

Somehow I think this obsession with winning makes people losers.

When a Nation's Leaders are Puppets of Culture

Two incidents developed this past week that drove me up the wall. They had me muttering out loud:

•  "GIVE ME A BREAK!"

• "My God, is there no hope for this place?"

• "Is there no pride in excellence around here?"

I've taken two days to calm down . . . sorta . . .

I root for the Philippines, you know. To leave the pits of incompetence and poverty and cheating behind and rise as a healthy, wealthier, wholesome place to invest and live.

Mr. Aquino as far as I can tell has done five things in 2 1/2 years in office.

• He got elected, raising the hopes of millions.

• He jailed Ms. Arroyo and evicted Mr. Corona from the judicial throne, two huge exclamation points regarding his anti-corruption agenda.

• He articulated a firm foreign policy, rational toward both China and the US.

• He firmed up financial disciplines in expenditures and revenues.

• He got a good tourism minister and embarked on a promising tourism campaign.

He has notably not made progress hunting down and jailing  murderers of journalists or getting the HR Bill passed or fixing education (going to twelve years places more stress on buildings and teachers, already past the breaking point) or getting rid of the nation's feudal value infrastructure that allows cheating, broad-scale corruption, pollution, avoidance of personal responsibility and other vices to persist.

It would appear that Mr. Aquino is more of a puppet than I had imagined. A puppet to bad Filipino values. A man of the old culture, as evidenced by his getting his personal political nose into the House and Senate's impeachment business like a male dog searching for sex in a doggie harem. Overly sensitive. Macho posturing. Interfering with due process.

Now we have two more unhealthy practices, culturally engrained, front and center:

Chief Justice Nominees

I read about some of the potential nominees for the Chief Justice position and I am absolutely dismayed. The prominent criterion seems to be "close to President Aquino". This is the same old horseshit that Ms. Arroyo did with Mr. Corona. He was not picked for his legal credentials and OBJECTIVITY, but for his commitment to being non-objective and friendly to the Arroyo agenda.

One observation I have repeated over and over for the four years I've been participating in Filipino blogs is that the trade of favors is horrendously damaging to Philippine progress. I get no traction. Not with readers, not with any body. Yet it is so simple.

Being a friend has nothing to do with competence or getting things done well. It simply mucks up the system, as did Mr. Corona.

• Management 101, Principle Number 1: Have the courage and wisdom to hire people who are more competent than you are.

Corruption is on President Aquino's front burner. That's good. That was the President's campaign promise.  But let me positively scream this:

• THE FOCUS ON FAVORS RATHER THAN COMPETENCE IS MORE DAMAGING THAN CORRUPTION.

• How can you create jobs and wealth when you hire duds?

• How can you inspire competent people to stay in the Philippines if you are always hiring someone's uncle to be his boss?

You positively undermine value creation. Wealth creation. The dynamic drive for innovation and productivity. The only fire you light is under the BRAIN DRAIN!

Mr. Aquino appears to be engaged in a gross failure in values when he fails to comprehend the key judicial criteria for competence for a Chief Justice: apolitical, objective, grounded expertly in the law.

De Lima? The woman who heavy handedly botched the Arroyo case? Who herself interfered in the Corona case by blurting to the press "He is a walking constitutional violation!" ?

THAT judicial bearing? THAT removed objectivity?

THAT is her qualification? She stuck up for the President? Now she is in line to receive her return favor?

Who nominated her? Or Henares, another member of the President's cabinet. These two ought to be excluded specifically for the stain of likely bias. The PERCEPTION that they are biased, in a judicial chair, becomes a REALITY when they vote the "wrong way". They inevitably lose trust. A judge MUST be trustworthy for his decisions to be received constructively.

I hope the JBC tightens up and sends forward the nominations that would be best for the Judiciary, not for President Aquino.

Haranguing the Rating Agencies

The Philippines sent its financial people to the U.S. to visit the rating agencies (Standard & Poor's and Moody's) to try to wheedle and whine investment grade ratings from them.

"You need to modify your criteria" was basically the Philippine's position. "When countries such as Spain, which is facing bankruptcy, are higher than the Philippines, something is wrong."

The rating agencies' response was on the order of, "when you have per capita income of about $1,300 per year, you don't have the foundation of stability that is needed for a stronger rating; when revenue sources are unreliable and leak like a sieve, you don't have the stability you need."

That's the point, isn't it?

The Philippines ought not to condemn the rating agencies, or wheedle and beg on the international stage, but ought to understand the rationale for a strong rating. Upon understanding the rationale, come home and implement programs that would strengthen its financial practices.

• LIKE PASS THE HR BILL TO STOP THE RELENTLESS OVERBIRTHING THAT KEEPS THE PER CAPITA INCOME SO FRICKIN' LOW!!!

• LIKE PLUG THE CHEATING AND BAD PRACTICES THAT SUCK TAXES AWAY.

• LIKE GET RID OF BANK SECRECY LAWS THAT PROTECT CROOKS AND SCOUNDRELS.

By applying the best of the worst in Philippine values, these financial yokels go whining and try to humiliate the rating agencies. They make excuses and play the victim.

I get embarrassed every time a top Filipino ambassador does this kind of thing. It is the same low-class mentality that claimed Jessica Sanchez was robbed because the U.S. is racist.

No, the show's audience liked the other singer better.

How can a people who place such a value on MACHO be such whiners? How is it they cannot grasp a sense of strong personal responsibility, and attach THAT to being manly. Or womanly.

These are PROFESSIONALS!! AMBASSADORS. TOP LEADERS. EDUCATED PEOPLE!

Incredible.

I need a smoke.

And I don't smoke.

I need a drink.

And I don't drink (much).