Whine Not!

The real Philippines?

Be patient. Let me have my little tantrum, then we can try to put some sense to it at the end.

We westerners tend to see the Philippines as a really whiny place, a place where face is more important than truth, and posture more important than performance.

My positive attitude lasted one day. But its not my fault. Y'all drove me to it.

Ordinarily, I am castigated for my generalizations, for looking about and drawing conclusions from what I see and read without conducting surveys or interviewing experts or compiling data.

So I will just describe two happenings, anecdotal evidence if you will, draw my generalization, explain it a bit, and then let you tell me how it is wrong. They are at opposite ends of the social spectrum, one the palace, the other the rice fields. 

My contention is that the Philippine National Anthem should be changed to the Whine. The march you have now is too confident, too military, too patriotic, too upright for the real mood of the land. 

In the Palace

Here is the headline that ran in the Inquirer on November 12. I think it warrants a Pulitzer Prize for whine.

Obama skips Philippines–again

This piece by  Amando Doronila is so deep with weep that it goes into the pile of "Classic Whines". These tear-jerkers ran in rapid succession at the beginning of the article:

1. The itinerary excluded the Philippines, a longtime strategic security ally of the United States in the Asia-Pacific region.

2. The exclusion ruffled sensitive nationalist feelings in Manila, as officials anxiously waited for signals from the second Obama administration on what is in store for the Philippines in the reordering of US foreign policy priorities following the election.

3. The question that immediately emerged was: Why Burma, Thailand and Cambodia? These countries in Southeast Asia are the least threatened by the aggressive pursuit by China 

4. Filipinos were quick to recall that during Obama’s first Southeast Asian tour early in his first term, his itinerary bypassed the Philippines.

5. As if to rub salt in the wound, White House officials revealed that Obama returned the calls of a long list of global leaders, including those of Israel and Egypt, who contacted him to congratulate him on his reelection.

6. The US president spoke to the leaders of Germany, France, Britain, Saudi Arabia, Australia, Canada, India, Turkey, Brazil, Colombia and Nato’s secretary general

7. Malacañang said it had not received calls from the Obama White House, but it emphasized that President Aquino did not call President Obama and instead sent a congratulatory message by mail through the Department of Foreign Affairs.

JoeAm's response to each point is as follows:

1. The trip is four days, including the ASEAN summit. The Philippines believes it is Number 1 in importance in Asia to a president who has just been re-elected, is facing a domestic economic cliff and simmering hot spots around the globe? Give me a break! No. Give Obama a break. Truly, I think Filipinos as a sub-species are grossly deficient in walking in another man's shoes and they have a sorely limited view of the world and other nation's interests, or U.S. engagements globally. "Me first!" is the Philippine global mantra.

2. It's the same president as before the election. WHAT reordering? Secretary Clinton has held Philippine hands, the U.S. has pivoted to Asia, the boats are right over there in Subic, and it seems like there is another training exercise every few months. What do you want, contested islands delivered to your doorstep by Unc Sam? Here's an idea, get your Philippine Senator Santiago to shut her yap about the VFA for a change. THAT would help the alliance get reordered in a positive way.

3. Are you stupid, or what? The countries are in close proximity, Burma has just broken the hold of years of tight-fisted thuggery in favor of openness, and Thailand is growing in economic power but has internal unrest. President Obama decided that these were reasonable places to visit, for American interests, for global democracy. THE PHILIPPINES does not determine American interests. Got it? President Obama is not all-consumed with Filipino issues. Maybe the PHILIPPINES should deal with them, eh? Good God, the Ego of this place. A two-year old's sense of center of the earth.

4. Well, maybe they should slow their recall and think about it. Like, grow up.

5. So the Philippines thinks it is more important in the alignment of U.S. global affairs than Israel, which has been in a tiff with Obama and is the hotspot of the globe re. Iran? And is more important than Egypt, which is the emerging center of Middle East democracy, or chaos, depending on which way it turns? Maybe the U.S. thinks the Philippines is DOING FINE, eh? Maybe they listen to the President's SONA. Maybe you could take it as a matter of PRIDE that you are being skipped because you are doing HUNKY DORY! You are the good friend, well off in terms of stability and direction, who does not need to be coddled. You are not pleased with that standing? You NEED something more?

6. So frickin' what?

7. Do you know how long it takes a President to call another head of state? Do you know how many security briefings and public appearances and cabinet meetings the President has on his agenda? Stop being like Arroyo, breathlessly chasing Obama around the world. Attend to your business.

I tell you, I am close to losing it.

Associative pride. Attaching one's self worth to another.

It signals insecurity with red flags blazing in the needy sinking sun.

An emotionally healthy person lets other people live their lives because others have their own rights and reasons. He, or she, takes care of that for which he, or she, is responsible. To expect validation from others is weak, weak, weak.

Like, man, stop the wallowing and pass an FOI Bill. Make YOUR nation great.

In the Provinces Where the Rice Grows

My wife and I built our home in a rural rice-growing area. We are not special people. Fairly ordinary, actually. Generally good hearted, good humored, fairly intelligent, quiet, respectful of our neighbors. Going about our business of building our home and raising our son.

But we have a huge flaw and it really upsets our neighbors.

We have money.

Now, I've never been rich before. But in the Philippines, I am rich. And my wife is married to rich.

When building our home, we paid the workers who reside in our community above market wages. My mistake: a flare of generosity and compassion for people who are poor. We were criticized by neighbors for wrecking pay scales and laughed at by the workers because they figured they "stuck it to us".

We donated the roofing material for our small church, about P12,000. We were criticized by two neighbors (one being the Captain's wife) for being foolish; we had shamed them because they cannot give that much. They tell their neighbors what foolish people we are. And the roofing guy tried to get us to buy 40% more material than was actually needed, as if I can't do the math on number of sheets of galvalum it takes to cover a given sized roof. He was going to rip off a piece of a donation, a gift. To  a Church!

The neighbors regularly ask us for money for this and that, generally small amounts, P1,000 to P3,000. They are generally asked as "loans".  Priority for giving money is: (1) you have worked for us or in some way helped us, so we can help you, (2) medical care gets high priority, and (3) kids get a high priority. We say "no" about half the time. When we say no, people are highly offended and tell their neighbors what mean people we are.

So we are wrong when we give our money away, and wrong when we don't. And our reputation in the community is trash. The stories and the backbiting are unending.

This works in a destructive cycle because we do less and less for the community every day. We have pretty much removed ourselves from it, actually. Our circle of friends has moved downtown to the parents and teachers at our son's private school. It is a different "class", one that welcomes us.

We sometimes think class structures are defined by the powerful, to suppress and use the powerless. But the masses also define the classes through their ignorance and special needs. Or neediness. When envy is the filter through which all facts are sifted, it makes for an unreal world that people take as real. And it pushes away those who could help.

It is a simple concept, no? To welcome those with the means to help. But the gap between enlightenment and the rice fields is HUGE. So don't expect Sotto to be tossed from office when he is up for election. It's not that easy to get wholesome ideas across to a population that is isolated by need from education and introspection.

In the Philippines, need turns on its head to become envy, and it drives good will into the ground.

And it does it with relentless whining, one neighbor to another.

Questions. And What I'm Thankful For

So do my two anecdotes ring true with you? Or am I missing something?

Do you see a similarity in attitude between the Palace and our neighbors?

Is whine a pronounced mood in the Philippines, a theme, a passion? What's in the middle, between the Palace and rice fields? Is it whine there, too?

If so, any idea how to break it? All I can figure is to keep writing here.

For sure I am thankful for the people who contribute to my blog site because I know there are Filipinos who are mentally healthy, mentally sharp, and who "get it". It keeps me sane against the backdrop of all the Sottos and Santiagos and jealous neighbors and whiney newspaper writers and, yes, a good but authoritarian President without a clear grasp of how liberty energizes.

The schools don't seem to be able to help much in developing psychological perspective and good health.

I rather suspect the core of good introspection and healthy thinking that is not based on emotional need is small. But it is growing. I want to believe that. The internet is the classroom, and we are both students and teachers in it.