The Revenge of the Mayans

Mayan temple at Palenque, Chiapas, Mexico 

This is a startling revelation. I'd tweet it to the universe but I'm not a twit and have zero followers there. My problem has always been that I can't say anything in 140 characters or less.

So I will release my finding here to the Society of Honor cadre of capable commenters with the understanding that you will do all that is in your power to make the greater world understand what has happened.

I know there are skeptics amongst you, and that is fine. I'm looking for the converts, however, those who have the farsight to grasp new dimensions of existence. Those who are not bound by the past. Those who would accept reincarnation as truth if they somehow met themselves both coming and going.

Here's the deal, in bold headlines.

THE WORLD ENDED ON DECEMBER 21, 2012

Okay, I know, I know you are throwing up your hands and saying, "ach, what's this lunatic American smoking now?"

You are thinking: "The Mayan end-of-the-world prediction has been debunked. We are still here."

Well, straight shot, here's the science that's involved. What we thought was a theory is evidently true. The principle of the Multiverse is true. For those of you who believe science is something like STD, to be avoided at all cost, I provide you with this down and dirty snippet from the famed Astronomy Department of Pomona University:

The Elegance of the Multiverse

• The Multiverse theory for the universe has been a recently accepted theory that describes the continuous formation of universes through the collapse of giant stars and the formation of black holes.  With each of these black holes there is a new point of singularity and a new possible universe.  As Rees describes it, "Our universe may be just one element - one atom, as it were - in an infinite ensemble: a cosmic archipelago.  Each universe starts with its own big bang, acquires a distinctive imprint (and its individual physical laws) as it cools, and traces out its own cosmic cycle.  The big bang that triggered our entire universe is, in this grander perspective, an infinitesimal part of an elaborate structure that extends far beyond the range of any telescopes." 

On the day the Mayans pointed to, the day the world as we know it ended, we encountered a seamless transition to a different universe, to a different place.  Same timeline and history. Same people and events. Same places. Very different godly foundation. Trust me, the devil is indeed in the details.

What the Mayans knew they kept to themselves, that the "end" meant it was time for a new era of existence, a new plane of existence, a world we shall, in our language, call:

THE REVENGE OF THE MAYANS

JoeAm's second favorite cousin (next to Angry Maude), is a hot chick named Sylvia who once danced with Elvis Presley. She is a skilled archeologist of the Indiana Jones school of study, believing field work, or temple climbing and cave creeping, are essential archeological skills.

Her single-minded obsession has been to prove that Elvis, indeed, is still alive. She wants to try that dance again because, you see, she was married the first time she met him at a bar in Lake Charles, Missouri. As the evening played out, and after several romantic slow dances, Elvis asked her if she wanted to leave with him. She said "no".  As the fates of that universe would have it, she soon discovered that her husband was an abusive jerk and they divorced a couple of years later. She has regretted for a lifetime not leaving that bar with Elvis.

(Note to self: advocate for Philippine Divorce Bill, in respect of Sylvia's abuse.)

Mayan Range: Mexico and Guatemala. Click to enlarge.

Cousin Sylvia is now 77 years old and was feisty as hell the last time I spoke with her, 11 weeks ago.

But I digress.

The Mayans predicted the end of the world would arrive at 6:12 am, New York Time, on December 21, 2012. This was worked out through study of carvings on a Mayan stone tablet called "Monument 6", carved by Mayan priests in 700 A.D. In the most delicious of mysterious fates, half of that tablet, until now, has been missing. (Source: CNN)

Mayans divide (intentional use of the present tense) time into periods called "baktuns" which are each 144,000 days in length. The 13th and "final" baktun of the old world ended on December 21, last year. (Source: NPR)

Temple near Parque Nacional Sierra Del Lacandon, Guatemala

HERE'S THE EARTH-SHATTERING NEWS SCOOP; even Rupert Murdoch does not have this one: Sylvia informed me through secret channels that she managed to recover the missing half of the broken tablet. She calls it "Monument 6b".  The journey of her discovery started at the Mayan temple at Palenque, Chiapas, Mexico (refer to Google map, above, and the photo at the top of the blog). Newly excavated carvings led her to a more remote temple in the mountains of Parque Nacional Sierra Del Lacandon in northern Guatemala (refer to map and photo). There she found another ancient map, carved in stone. She declined to provide the route or place of actual discovery but did enclose photos suggesting Monument 6b was found in a cave hidden behind a remote waterfall (photos). She said to keep this in confidence and release it only in the event she should encounter problems with trecherous treasure hunters, or governments.

I have not heard from her in 11 weeks, after considerable effort and expense at trying to locate her. So I have decided to reveal these secrets. I was also influenced by how uplifting this discovery is likely to be to Filipinos.

Unkown Waterfall

Read on.

The translation of the tablet was stunning.

The Mayans knew that the earth was destined to be pulled into a transitional wormhole at the end of the 13th baktun. Life as we knew it would end, but it would begin anew, immediately. Ensuing would be a period  during which Mayan priests would exact their revenge on the heathen faiths and scurrilous souls of our time. The prediction is echoed in stories told by the hill tribes of remote Guatemala whose elders speak of a "período de redención y venganza", a period of redemption and revenge, led by reincarnated Mayan priests.

Cave of Sylvia's Discovery

Long story short: We have gone through a multiverse transition. It was seamless. No one knows, until now.

I asked Sylvia to explain exactly what this meant in terms that Filipinos might understand.

She laughed lustily, for, post Elvis, it seems to me she always laughed lustily. She whispered:

"The internet, Cuz. It is the vehicle of redemption. You figure it out."

Well, boy howdy, two and two instantly added up.

I recalled the visit paid by VP Binay, former President Estrada, and Senate President Enrile to suspended and rebellious Governor Garcia of Cebu. I thought at the time, what a mistake. Binay is killing his election chances.

You see, these guys are still operating by the ground rules of the universe that died on December 21. In the new universe, they are subject to the revenge of the Mayans.

Strange Humanoids of the Dead Multiverse

I'm not sure exactly how this will work out. But I figure the Philippines has suddenly been given a new direction, a new lease on life, and those scurillous politicians and family barons who continue to operate under old world values are on the way out. Severe anxieties and punishments are headed their way. And they are completely oblivious.

It follows from the newfound tablets that Mayan descendants now live in the Philippines, either sailing the Pacific directly or via birth through the Spanish or via some avenue that is not yet clear. If so, the Philippines is blessed with good Mayan fortune.

And as for the Catholic Church, which spent 400 years holding the Philippines in dark age purgatory, I figure the CBCP leaders, too, believe they are still in the old, dead world where what they say matters. A world they ruled badly, judging from the angers and poverty rife in the Philippines for centuries. And the priests are now on a path that is most assuredly headed toward extinction. The only question is how anxious the Mayan priests are to exact their revenge, and whether or not they have any compassion for misguided priests who engage in political deceits and power plays like ordinary man. 

I also surmise that President Aquino is a former high chieftain of the Mayan tribes. His stunning resurrection of Philippine confidence and economic energy most assuredly came from a mysterious power, a religious power. And it is even within the realm of belief that we bloggers and netizens are advocates of the Mayan faith. Is there any other way to explain the amazing blossoming and power of social media and the internet in the Philippines?

Is it coincidence or Mayan will that Joe Am arrived in the Philippines just prior to the end of the 13th baktun? Is Raissa Robles a Mayan priestess?

How are YOU feeling today?