A Philippine Colony on the Moon?

This is today's science report.

While the Philippines is trying to figure out how to get electricity to Mindanao, the rest of the world is moving on . . .

The Kepler spacecraft launched by the U.S. several years ago, is out there finding planets that might be habitable. It watches 150,000 suns, scanning for shadows the planets make as they pass in front of a particular sun. Once the satellite has spotted a planet, it runs spectrographic analyses to determine the composition and size of the orb, and its distance from its sun. By studying the size of the sun and composition of the planet, astronomers can identify those which are temperate enough to support life as we know it. They figure there are a bazillion habitable planets in the Milky Way.

Kepler was in the news this week because it identified two planets in extraordinarily close proximity to each other, one of iron, the other of gas. The close proximity and differences in composition astounded the international science community. It is understood that Manila residents merely yawned. Nothing in it for them.

Researchers at MIT in the States have concluded that snowfall on Mars is not comprised of large flakes, as we find on earth, but minute fog-like particles that drift in the valleys of the planet. Data comes from America's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter circling the red planet like the alien spacecraft that it is, to those little orange Martians hiding in caves amongst the rocks. The photo on the left is an illustration by Steven Hobbs of Stocktrek Images. Illustrators in the Philippines are mainly working on comic books and fake covers to pirated CD's.

In Great Britain, researchers at Sheffield University have compiled a definitive treatise on the origins, construction and symbolism of the Stonehenge Monuments. Construction of the huge stone monuments (there are eight separate memorials in the area) began about 8,000 b.c. and ended in 5,000 b.c. Yes, folks, 3,000 years in the building. Chipping the huge stones from quarries in Wales, pushing and pulling them to Stonehenge along rutted muddy roads, and cranking the big heavy bastards into place. To them it was like space travel is to us. We'll never see what happens in the end, but we know it is important to keep shooting off the rockets.

Stonehenge is way before the pyramids, you understand. And Jesus was not even a gleam in his almighty Father's eye.

 

Given the layout and location of the rocks, which have specific and meaningful alignments to the sun, moon and stars, people of the British Isles at the time figured this to be the center of the world. They appear to have built the monuments to celebrate the unity of many regional peoples into one peaceful humankind. Meanwhile, on the Philippines ,in 2012, the nation cannot figure out what language to speak.

Microsoft announced its foray into building computers, the hardware. It's slick new machines are light, powerful, and the perfect integration of machine and software. Microsoft evidently became upset that PC manufacturers were not doing enough to keep up with Apple. Their machines were clunky Chevrolets when Microsoft wanted Porsches. Next up, Microsoft smart cell phones.

Meanwhile, in the Philippines, the nation was busy herding millions of karabao along the farm to market roads between the rice fields and the mud ponds where the animals cool off in the evening.

It was also announced this past week that there is water on the Moon. Scientists have identified trace amounts at the cold south pole of our rocky neighbor. The discovery is of immense significance because water can be broken down into its components, oxygen and hydrogen. That, folks, means air. And that means it is possible to colonize the moon.

Meanwhile, in the Philippines, the island nation is single-handedly doing the utmost to combat global warming by burning anything and everything from wood to plastic to acidic batteries, thereby stuffing its air full of carcinogens to kill people off and stop overpopulation, whilst simultaneously blocking the sun's rays from warming things up overly much. That, folks is science at the cutting edge.

As for my headline, A Philippine Colony on the Moon. That is a big joke. haha

Yours, dripping with unsightly sarcasm this grumpy Sunday morning,

Joseph August America