What's Your (Filipino) Problem?​

Guest Article

by Cha Coronel Datu

I found out about this tweeter page called "Filipino Problems" from my daughter who couldn’t stop laughing while reading it on her laptop one day.

It may have actually been inspired by its precursor, a blog called First World Problems, which catalogues the many frustrations and complaints of people living in wealthy countries. Also sometimes referred to as white whine, these complaints include such "challenging" conundrums like what to do with one's iPhone4 after upgrading to iPhone5, how to fit the oversized pizza box in the fridge, or what to do when your book runs out of battery.

The tweeter page Filipino Problems, on the other hand, presents the day-to-day challenges faced by two young Filipino-Canadians and their friends, all growing up in Filipino families in their adoptive country of Canada.

It cracked me up when I went and checked out what those guys' problems were. Their issues were jumping off my desktop monitor like photos from the scrapbooks of my own younger days. In short, the old hag has had the same problems (or some other version of them) way back when. It’s funny how some of the old ways have also trickled down to the lives of our now technologically savvy and more worldly wise sons and daughters.

Here's a sampling of the teenage angst provoking Filipino Problems of the current generation:

1. Relationship Status?

__ Single

__ Taken

X Not allowed to have a boypren/ girlpren

2. The titos and titas always asking if you have boypren/ girlpren

3. When you tell your grandma you're already full, she tells you to eat some more.

4. When you have no clue if your parents are talking about the iPod or the iPad.

5. After a long day doing your homework, you finally got some time to chill and then your mom says:

"Anaaaaak, why don't you do your homework?"

6. Your parents pretty much disown you when you get 75% in anything - including Karaoke scores.

7. When you were little, your parents always bought you shoes that were 1 or 2 sizes bigger, and

they called it "allowance".

8. Running out of ketchup? Add some water.

9. Not sure if "Auntie Joy" is really your aunt.

10. When your mom has a few of her friends over, you can still hear them talking from inside

your room. With the door closed.

11. Pasko and New Year - you'll eat left-overs till March.

12. Your party guests running on Filipino Time.

13. Magic Sing broken. Party cancelled.

If you cannot claim to have suffered through at least half of the tortuous circumstances outlined in this list; let me now offer you my commiserations. You probably are not Filipino (or have not been around Filipinos enough). Alas! You will never know the sweet absolute joy and sense of calm that embraces one's being when the karaoke singing finally stops.

But are our Filipino Problems really all that unique?

One of the benefits of living in a multi-cultural country like Australia for us has been the diversity of racial and cultural backgrounds that our children have grown up with. From this, they have learned to become tolerant and respectful of other cultures, as well as their own.

For no matter how much they may want to resent some of our Filipino ways and cultural idiosyncrasies, there always seems to be someone else worse off than they are.

Case in point : My daughter's 10:30 curfew before she turned 16; while she wasn’t happy about this, she couldn't really complain. Her best friend, whose mom is a second generation migrant from Malta, would have been lucky to even be allowed out at all.

Our kids may wince at mom and dad's attempts to scrimp and save every once in a while but that's about all the protesting they are wont to do. Why? Because most Aussie kids start looking for part-time jobs when they turn 14; after which they barely ever ask their parents for any money. My son's Aussie friend got a ribbing from their peers for wearing his school shoes with his suit, instead of proper leather shoes, to the prom. He said he didn't want to spend his hard earned money on a $100 pair of shoes that he may not even wear again. Neither did he want to ask his mom to pay for them. (I should adopt that kid.)

They may think a lot of Filipinos speak funny but heller, their Aussie friends say "Nawr, thank you" and ask for Peetah when they're looking for Peter. And then there are the Kiwis (New Zealanders) who say they will ride an earplane to go to Milburn, Australia and ask for sex when they want one less than seeveen.

And were they ever afraid Dad might bring out the Karaoke at their party? Not anymore. My son has seen the look in his friend's eyes when the latter's Croatian born mom brought out her surprise for his 18th birthday. A stripper! Yippee! Just what he needs to impress the girls he invited; their classmates at a local Catholic school.

We may have Filipino Time but their Indian friends have also told them about Indian Standard Time.

The more we learn about other people, the more we realise we are all not so different from each other after all.

The specifics may be different from one culture to another but overprotective, overreaching, overzealous parents can be found everywhere. And so are embarrassing, annoying and obnoxious relatives with some irritating, cringe worthy habits and ways.

If only that were all a teenager in the Philippines also need worry about!

One would hope that there will come a time, in the not so distant future, when the Filipino Problems of teenagers in the Philippines can be no more different from those of their counterparts in countries like Canada, America, and Australia.

Yes, every young person deserves at least one overzealous, overprotective adult in their life; someone that's got their back no matter what.

And yes too, young people should be nagged to do their homework. They should be kept in school to learn how to read, write, add and subtract. They should not be foraging for food in garbage dumps or begging for money on street corners instead.

They should be sent to their room or grounded for doing “silly little things” like not cleaning up after themselves or breaking their curfew. They really shouldn’t be getting into trouble for breaking the law, instead. Stealing cell phones and wallets and breaking into other people’s homes.

The adults around them should serve as their mentors and role models, teach them right from wrong and enable them to make the right choices in life.

The grown-ups should be teaching them good manners and proper decorum. Not dragging them along to ransack a government facility and cart away relief goods meant for victims of a natural calamity. Or inciting them to attack and vandalise police cars, or the offices of oil companies and foreign embassies. Dios mio!

The grown-ups should be encouraging them to study and work hard to achieve their goals in life. Not ask them to vote into office their sons and daughters who have no accomplishments of their own to speak of. "Anaaaak, why don't you run for Senator? You are qualified naman because you are my daughter."

The grown-ups should be showing them how to settle their differences with others sensibly and intelligently. Not how to condemn and demonize the opposing side by labelling them immoral, murderers and sinners. A.K.A."Team Patay".

Unfortunately for the young people of the Philippines at the moment, their Filipino Problems include an oversupply of problem Filipinos. Grown men and women with the mental faculties of a prawn. People of influence and power whose credibility and integrity are just about as evident as a mongo bean on the ground, on a dark night.

The Department of Education has set for itself a pretty important and lofty goal (and rightly so) in its Mission Statement: To provide quality basic education that is equitably accessible to all and lay the foundation for life-long learning and service for the common good.

Well, good luck with laying "the foundation for life-long learning and service for the common good". For as long as we are not able to dissociate ourselves from the notion that our children's education begins and ends in the classroom, that will most likely be one tottery and unsteady foundation.

Because children learn what they live.

DepEd should develop and articulate a policy of partnership between the schools and parents in supporting the learning that takes place in the classroom; provide a structure and appropriate support programs. It should collaborate with the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD), non-profit organisations, and mass media in structuring and implementing parent education and information programs to ensure that the values children are taught in the schools are supported and reinforced at home and by what is fed them by mass media.

And those of us who know better, we really ought to be doing better. We should be setting a good example for our kids and for each other.

And what to do with our problem Filipinos? Like, how do we solve a problem like Jesus, Joseph and Maria? How about we don't let him become the President?

The Kid Beside Me

Late last year, I defined an anchor-post for my basic principles that is a little different than most. Most people go by Christian values. But I look around both in the Philippines and in the United States and I don't like the values I see emerging from the Christian faithful.

• In the U.S., I see a Tea Party that will not negotiate, that believes anyone with a different view is the enemy, to be cut down. And the cutting down, as done by the party of the Christian right, Republicans, is unbearably deceitful and manipulative. Well, that's true of the left, too, and they, also, claim Christian values.

•  In the Philippines I look on dismayed as the major church, the Catholic Church, descends into the mud-pit of political advocacy, even though doing so puts more than half the people into the camp of the opposition as potential "sinners" for not toeing the church line.  So don't vote for Aquino if you want to go to heaven, I guess.

Well, other values can be based on other religious doctrines, or on the atheistic adherence to reason as the guidepost to right and wrong. A people would not rationally do that which is wrong and expect their civilization to thrive.

But I chose a different value standard.

It is based on the well-being of children.

Yes, it puts kids at the heart of every moral decision.

How would I live to ensure that kids are given the best possible shot at a safe, healthy, prosperous and intellectually rich lifestyle?

Learn What This Award Is About

• Would I behave as Senator Sotto and teach kids it is okay to copy the original work of others, use it wrongly, deny I copied it, and, once informed of the error of my ways, admit no wrong-doing? Or would I show them it is strong to accept responsibility for a mistake?

• Would I behave as Carlos Celdran did and insert my political views into a private business meeting? Or would I find a more respectful way to argue?

• Would I behave as Senators Enrile and Cayetano and get down and dirty and personal on television, in the most dignified forum in the nation? Or would I recognize dignity requires unusual strength and discipline?

• Would I behave as the leaders of the Catholic Church behave, always pointing the guilt-laden finger at others whilst denying any responsibility whatsoever in the "product", what the Philippines is like socially and economically today?

• Would I behave as all the corrupt government servants do, using favor and pressure to skim riches from those simply looking for government help?

• Would I behave as private citizens do, taking every opportunity to take advantage of others if they are caught in a moment of weakness, on the road, in the market, in negotiating for services, in leaving their front door open at night? Or wallet on the table, in plain sight?

• Would I, if seeing a young woman being beaten by a man, walk quickly by as if it were not my problem?

• Would I, on the job, take every opportunity to rest and relax and duck hard work or hard decisions?

Each of these questions can be answered very easily if we imagine an eight-year old child is standing right beside us. Watching what we do.

America vs Philippines: The Burdens of Women

What are the burdens unique to women, or considered traditional by social mores? Yes, these are generalizations, with lots of variations. The aim is to promote discussion, not prove anything.

The burdens and responsibilities of women:

1. Children: Bear children and nurture them through youth in good health, with good values, and with good education.

2. Kitchen: Cook and manage the kitchen. Keep the food stocks in good supply.

3. Cleaning: Clean up after the slob husband or messy kids end their thoughtless marauding about the house.

4. Clothing: Make sure the clothes are clean and in good order.

5. Values: Make sure the family has high moral values, like those taught and preached at church.

6. Recreation: Be fun in bed for the hubby and make sure social engagements, picnics, beach visits and other recreational activities bring entertainment and laughter to the family.

7. Health: Keep medicines available, whether prescription or herbal, and make sure everyone gets needed love and encouragement when sick.  Haul sick or injured family members to the doctor whether they want to go or not.

8. Presentment: Abide by the fashion standards of the time to represent the family as modern and stylish.

Did I miss anything material?

How do burdens in the Philippines differ from those in America ? I'll use the American grading mechanism and assign grades as follows to try to draw a distinction, where a high grade means that overall "delivery" on the attribute is good based on what we see around us:

• Excellent: A
• Good: B
• Fair or average: C
• Substandard: D
• Failing or really, really rotten: F

1. Children: Health care in the Philippines in outlying provinces is very weak, so kids are more susceptible to diseases, loss of teeth, and injuries. Education is not free, so is harder for the poor to get a good education. American schools are free, rigorous and attendance is mandatory. A high school degree in the Philippines is is not equivalent to a high school degree in the US.  Philippine kids don't compete well globally unless they get into private schools. Philippine values are conservative but laws are routinely ignored. Grades: America A, Philippines D

2. Kitchen: American kitchen work is often outsourced to fast food outlets, and obesity is a problem. In the Philippines, fatty foods are a problem. America has many foodstocks available, with much of it in boxes or cans or frozen, and cleanliness is closely monitored. The Philippines relies more on fresh food products because refrigeration is not a given. I personally find that I eat healthier in the Philippines than I did in America, and the flavors are more elegant and robust in the Philippines. Grades: America C, Philippines B

3. Cleaning: I discern little difference in the quality of cleaning, one nation to the other, except that waste disposal and sewerage is a problem in the Philippines. Bathrooms can be quite atrocious. Structures in the Philippines may be more rustic in outlying areas, but there is water water everywhere, so things get washed fine.  Grades: America A, Philippines C

4. Clothing: Poor Filipinos wear hand-me-downs and cheap clothing until they grow so tattered they fall off, so the condition is sometimes poor.  But clothes are generally cleaned regularly. Indeed, there is a pride taken in wearing clean clothes after a freshening shower or bath in the morning. Americans are consuming addicts and clothes are a part of the addiction; washing and drying is usually done by machine. Grades: America A, Philippines B

5. Values: The Philippines is anchored on Catholic, Christian or Muslim values with a strong cross-current of superstition. Americans believe in Christian values and hold to them with less widespread corruption and rule-breaking than is the case in the Philippines. A large cut of the American population is not engaged actively in church activities. Alas, it is deeds that count, not visits to church.  Grades: America B, Philippines C

6. Recreation: Americans live for their games, watching in the stadiums or on TV and participating in the backyard or neighborhood park. Women participate, too. And they are mad about music.  Filipino men play basketball and follow boxing, but women aren't into physical sports. Entertainment is their passion. Singers and actors rule. Karaoke is a sport in the Philippines, along with dancing. And of course, no matter where you are in the Philippines, the beach is right over there.  Grades: America A, Philippines A

7. Presentment: American women got knocked a little off the fashion stride by the women's movement of the late 20th century. It became uncool to watch beauty contests because they peddled women like packaged meat. Fashion lost its frills. Filipinas are very much into the starlet look, with the whitening creams and shampoos touted on television. Americans in public tend to dress sloppily. Filipinos are neat and tend toward a conservative look. Grades: America B, Philippines A.

So if you look at the sum of the grades, you see that women in the Philippines carry particularly heavy burdens in the raising of children and development of values. The social infrastructure and educational platform work against their kids. Sanitation is also a challenge, particularly in poor areas. So health is troublesome.

Face it, unless you are middle class or above, the Philippine infrastructure supporting the family is weak. The married woman's job is much harder in the Philippines than in America. Heath care, weak. Public education with 45 kids to a classroom, weak. Social acceptance of subsistence crime and rule-breaking, high. Sanitary infrastructure, weak.

As for single women, again the opportunities are limited unless you are connected, or can get a slot at an Americanized firm like a call center that has a career track. The horizon for the underclass woman is a lifetime of hard work for precious little pay. Making babies looks good in that light, married or not . . .

Where am I going with this?

I read a comment on a Rappler article that was very profound.  The article pertains to the level of foreign direct investment in the Philippines. Here's the comment and a link to the article:

• trevor.evans62

  The Current Constitution states that the Filipino family is the foundation of the Nation, so how does it justify breaking up the families of OFWs by sending the breadwinners abroad for jobs? ARTICLE XV THE FAMILY Section 1. The State recognizes the Filipino family as the foundation of the nation. Accordingly, it shall strengthen its solidarity and actively promote its total development.

It is a very good insight. And it applies as well to the INFRASTRUCTURE supporting families: health, education, good values, sanitation.

Infrastructure is not just roads and trains and airports and docks.

It is hospitals and doctors and schools and values (leading by example in the Philippines seems very weak to these Western-trained eyes) and utilities.

RH is infrastructure for the family. Investment in schools, new ways of teaching (internet) and new curriculums is infrastructure for the family. Sanitation is infrastructure for the family. Upgrading medical care is infrastructure for the family. These elements provide the platform that make a woman's burdens lighter, and achievement of good results more likely.

The Constitution is fundamentally a good document.

Implementing it is the challenge.

I can only offer my admiration for Filipinas who work with determination to overcome the challenges set before them, those who tend to the many needs of the family in good cheer and raise kids who are healthy, happy, bright and well-directed. These women are clearly very determined, strong and iron-willed of heart.

They are heroes in my book.

Of Biology and Theology: Why we need to talk to young people about sex

Guest Article

by Cha Coronel Datu

A 12 year old being treated for STD ... an 8 year old raped by a 9 year old... a 13 year old getting pregnant and then undergoing emergency caesarean section after complications from labor... an 18 year old dying of severe infection after self-inducing an abortion using 3 different methods...

Does one need to be a Catholic or a non-Catholic to feel horrified by real life cases like these in the Philippines?

One of the highest pregnancy rates in the ASEAN... 1 in 10 women aged 15-19 already mothers or pregnant with their first child... 1 in 5 unsafe abortions being done on teenage or young mothers... 1 in 3 HIV infected individuals in the country aged between 15-24... 1 in 5 maternal deaths are among adolescents... 62% of sexually transmitted infections also affecting adolescents...

What does one do with these confronting statistics?

What does one do about a train that's gone off the rails?

Well, for starters, we need to tell young people how women become pregnant in the first place. We need to inform them that young girls’ bodies are not yet fully developed to cope with pregnancy and that the risk of maternal death is twice as likely for teenage girls than for women in their 20s. We need to apprise them of the consequences of irresponsible or risky sexual behavior. In short, we need to provide them the necessary information that can help them prevent, solve, and reduce problems related to their own reproductive health.

In 2006, the Department of Education attempted to trial Sex Education classes in Philippine schools but backed off and scrapped the program after encountering strong opposition from the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines.

On June 2010, just a few days before President Aquino's inauguration, the Dep Ed again attempted to launch a pilot program; again amidst much protestation from the CBCP and a lawsuit even thrown in by a parents group for good measure. Only a month after it started, the new Dep Ed Secretary, Bro. Armin Luistro, announced that the pilot testing was finished and that "he would create a group to review the teaching of sex education in public schools as part of a two-year general review of the basic education curriculum."

The halftime score: CBCP -2, Dep Ed - 0

The CBCP's objection to Sex Education classes in Philippine schools is premised on their belief that "it (sex education) should be left to parents". In June 2010 Msgr. Pedro Quitorio, CBCP Media Office Director stressed that "parents, not schools, know best when their children are ready to understand sexuality."

In a January 31, 2011 Pastoral Letter vs. the RH Bill, the Bishops reiterate this position in the following statement:

"We condemn compulsory sex education that would effectively let parents abdicate their primary role of educating their own children, especially in an area of life – sexuality – which is a sacred gift of God."

But lo and behold! Just this Aug 25th, the CBCP NASSA (National Secretariat for Social Action- Justice and Peace) has announced in their website nassa.org.ph that "beginning SY 2013 – 2014, Theology of the Body will be integrated into Catholic schools’ curricula.”

According to the same website, Theology of the Body is based on a series of lectures given by Blessed John Paul II that focused on an integrated vision of man and his sexuality. Its teachings will include "the body and the sexual relationship itself (as) a symbol of God’s undying love for humanity."

Further information on Theology of the Body may be found on theologyofthebody.com:

"Theology of the Body for Teens is a dynamic faith formation program for teens and pre-teens in Catholic schools, parish youth ministries, Religious Education, Confirmation, and home-school settings. Using a great mix of stories, real-life examples, activities, prayers, and relevant references to the culture, it goes beyond traditional chastity programs by connecting the two hottest topics on the planet--God and sex. "

"With Blessed Pope John Paul II's compelling vision for love and life, and a language they understand, Theology of the Body for Teens answers the questions teens and pre-teens have about their own bodies, issues on sexual morality, and how they are uniquely created for greatness."

So there you go, Sex Education- the Catholic edition, is coming soon to Catholic schools in the country in 2013.

The CBCP, it would seem, has finally realised that parents, in fact, might need a bit of help talking about sex with their own children.

So let's not gloat or say I told you so, much as we may be tempted to; what matters is that Catholic School adolescents will now have someone talking to them about sexuality. That's more than a little over 1.3 million high school students in the Philippines covered.

It may be a completely different approach from the Dep Ed modules; more theology than biology, that is. But it’s really better than nothing. The science curriculum can hopefully fill in the gaps such as basic education about the reproductive processes (also can be known henceforth as the biology of love) and puberty and sexual behaviour.

Round 3 therefore goes to both the CBCP and Dep Ed.

But the next one is all for Dep Ed's taking, if it manages to play its cards right.

With most of the private schools now covered, it can focus on the over 5.5 million high school students enrolled in public schools. All it really needs to do now is implement their twice stalled Sex Education program for the public schools alongside the implementation of the Theology of Love classes in the Catholic schools beginning next year.

Having mustered the political will to roll out implementation of the more complicated K+12 program in 2012, there is no reason why Dep Ed should not be able apply the same zeal and commitment in relaunching the Sex Education Program in public schools in 2013. The public schools, after all, are under their full supervision.

How can one pass up on an opportunity like this?

Go Dep Ed.