You don’t find much
psychotherapy in the Philippines. Seeing a shrink is an admission of emotional
weakness, a no-no in a society that prizes power. After all, that's what shame
is, isn't it? The opposite of power? The undermining of esteem. So if we view
"face" as a self-defense mechanism against shame, we are basically
looking at opposite ends of the power spectrum, where power is
ego-gratification.
 |
| POWER |
- Power = ego
gratification
- Face =
protection against shame
- Shame = the
failure of power
The same
closet-minded attitude about psychotherapy existed in the U.S. in the 1950’s.
But Americans, with television in front of them, began to see others openly
talking about therapy and how they learned from it and grew stronger. And so,
like the science of computers, the science of self-awareness spread wide and
deep across the nation. Many Americans today want to understand why they behave
as they do , "What makes me lose emotional control? Why am I depressed
when I have so much? How can I gain confidence?"
Counseling is looked
at, not as a weakness, but as a sign of sincerity and, indeed, the courage to
understand, and perhaps even change, one's emotional behavior.
 |
| PESO |
What do
psychotherapists or full-bore psychiatrists typically try to do? They try to
bridge between our emotional selves and our rational selves. The objective is
to teach people to live happier, less stressful, more constructive lives, where
dysfunctional behavior takes the form of excessive or inappropriate anger or
fear or anxiety or sadness (depression).
I'm not qualified to
offer advice that can be taken as anything but speculation and opinion.
However, you may be able to use your own observations to confirm the merit of
what I express here.
The Preservation of Face
How are Filipinos
different from most Americans? For one thing, Filipinos seem to operate on a
very different interpersonal framework. The Filipino framework is characterized
by preservation of “face”, where face is the positive side of self esteem or high
regard for oneself. The negative side is loss of face. Or shame.
But the character of
face in the Philippines seems more self-involved than that found in, say,
Japan. In Japan, face is an explicit value that incorporates taking care of
others as a primary value. In the Philippines, face is an explicit value that
is focused mainly on taking care of oneself.
The Japanese excel
in courtesy; they are meticulously polite on the outside. Inside may be a
different dialogue entirely; it may or may not correspond with the politeness
shown to others.
Filipinos do not
appear to be so duplicitous. Indeed, I would guess that most outsiders find
Filipinos to be excessively pointed and even rude. Maybe this is more honest
than the Japanese inter-personal behavior. But it is not wholly good. Filipinos
prize power. Courtesy is read by many to be a weakness. Soft. Non-macho.
Something to be taken advantage of. And so emerge two of the most common
outsider complaints about Filipinos: (1)
rude, and (2) not trustworthy.
So it would seem
that courtesy and the concern about others, even the well-being of community,
do not drive personal interactions in the Philippines. Self-enhancement and
power do. That's why laws are routinely ignored and little is done to improve
sanitation.
What's in it for me?
If the concept of
face between Japan and the Philippines is very different, Americans are even
more unusual for having a very subdued sense of face. Indeed, the American
arrogance that Filipinos and citizens of other countries complain about is a function of behavior without shame. Even
if Americans are shown to be wrong, they don't exhibit shame. Therefore they
project arrogance to those who are shame-based.
Americans operate on
the principle that objectivity, acceptance of responsibility, and confidence
are important. Saving or building face is not an explicit value for most
Americans. Indeed, the healthy view
taught by psychotherapists is that we ought to accept responsibility for our
acts rather than find excuses or blame others for problems. And we need not try
too hard to impress others, for that reflects a neediness for their approval
that is not healthy. That is why so many educated Americans actively manage
their emotional well-being with rational introspection, rather than hang their
self-worth on face that can be given or taken away by others.
Power as Currency
How else is the
Philippines different? Here's one way. Whereas the Americans social fabric
seems to support the accumulation of
"things" (homes, cars, electronics, furniture, clothing), the
Philippine social fabric seems to support the accumulation of power.
The Philippines is
comparatively poor. Most people can't spend lavishly to acquire things. But
everyone can acquire something different that costs little money. They can
acquire interpersonal power. And it seems to me that Filipinos seek to acquire
and project power in everything they do. Indeed, as I've written elsewhere,
just about all interpersonal interactions in the Philippines are binary, 1 or
0, powerful or powerless. Win or lose. Dominant or submissive.
The exercise of
power is what pushes the "trade of favors" that generates small scale
corruption (an LTO officer taking payment for expediting an application) to
large scale corruption (kickbacks on multi-million peso construction projects).
The more power a person accumulates, the more favors he can grant and receive.
And the richer he becomes. Thus, power, as the means of acquiring wealth, is
actually more important as a currency than the pesos themselves.
I suspect the
power-dealing is not a conscious thing most of the time. It is built into the
personality, the morality, the culture, of the Philippines. Filipinos are
intuitive readers of power, their own and whomever they are facing.
The outsider does
not grasp this right away. Indeed, outsiders
may come to the conclusion that Filipinos are rude. But they aren’t,
from within the bubble of Philippine society. Filipinos are just going about
their business claiming and conceding to power as the situation requires.
What are some
instances?
One of the rules of
acquiring power is to get there first. This applies to the intersection or the
ATM or the line at the supermarket. Only one person has power, the one in
front, and he is not afraid to use it.
He need not hurry. He need not care about the powerless behind him. He
rules.
Another way to
acquire power is to get a gun. There is a reason murder is a common occurrence
in the Philippines during elections or business disputes or marital disputes or
to get rid of an irritating journalist.
You have power if
you are a bank manager or a doctor or a government office worker who has what
common people need. Therefore, you need not be polite. You need not set
appointments or even be particularly good at what you do. You have the power,
and that is what counts.
Morality is not what
counts; right and wrong are largely irrelevant and courtesy is largely
irrelevant. The power is what counts. And sometimes it is wrapped up in that
strong defense of face mentioned above.
Power. It is more
intoxicating than drugs or alcohol.
Power is as sublime
as a backbiting neighbor's catty gossip. "Oh, the wife of the American is
a prostitute."
Such remarks have
the wonderful ability to cut two slices at once, raising the esteem of the
person making the remark and cutting down the person who is the object of the
remark. It is power and it is everywhere in the Philippines, sly little digs
and criticisms.
"Why did you
build your house so big?"
"Why did you
build your house so small?"
No matter that it is
the same house. Because the question is not really about the house at all, it
is about raising the power of the person asking it to the level of higher
critic.
It is a small thing,
really. Except it is everywhere, in every conversation, a fine patina that
overlays Philippine interpersonal dynamics like butter over popcorn. This
overlay is the need to project a higher mind, to win, and to avoid the shame of
losing.
That's why in blog
debates between commenters, you seldom see flexibility or concession. It
signifies weakness. Disagreements are two bricks whacking at one another.
Solution is not the goal. Preservation of face, and power, are the goals.
Implications
The "so
what" factor is that the healthiest society is one that deals forthrightly
rather than wages power battles sublimely or under the cover of protected face.
Power battles create winners and losers. Forthright dealings create only
winners.
Filipinos are
actually aware of the SYMPTOMS of their power-mongering. They recognize this in
the behavior of supposedly educated Senator Sotto justifying his plagiarisms,
or in the rice worker blaming others for his crop failure. Face it, the
Philippines is at its most dysfunctional self when problem solving and good
acts are set aside in favor of blames and excuses and playing the victim.
Most Filipinos are not able to accept mistakes as a normal part of the risks of being human.
Face rules. Power as currency reigns supreme. Filipinos deny the value of
"trial and error" as scientific method in daily life.
They instead waste energy defending, covering, ducking, running, attacking,
undermining, dodging and digging at others.
I tend to see the
internet, blogging and social networks as being, for the Philippines, much as
television was to America. A medium for enlightenment. I read both very healthy and
very unhealthy arguments in the comments that people make online. And I sense that
most intelligent Filipinos are grasping this notion that forthright is best.
It is a natural
progression that healthy should win out, for it is best for the survival of the community, and the species.
We would do more to
ensure survival and vibrancy of the Philippines if we did what we can do to
accelerate this enlightenment.
Like put it into the
schools, you dig?
